I can talk online, I can walk online, I can eat online! Someday I may even pee online!

Notwithstading the influx of the ‘look up’ videos asking people to steer clear of screens, everything continues to go online. I am unsure if everything going online is a good thing or a bad thing for me. On days, I feel it is very convenient that everything is now possible at the click of a mouse while on others I feel my humanness is being overpowered by a technology. From everything being done by hands and legs, now everything is being done by apps and websites.

I was just making a list of my daily chores and realised that these technological advents had taken over our lives completely. Have a dekho and you will end up laughing, perhaps sarcastically-

6 AM - I wake up to the tone of a clock app on my smartphone.

6:30 AM-  The ‘replenish your body’ app on my phone reminds me to have my first glass of water of the day. The one with honey and lemon.

7 AM- The ‘wunderlist’ app tells me that it is my cousin’s birthday.

7:30 AM- I go for a walk after dropping Kid 1 to bus stop. ‘Strava’ tracks my steps and calories.

8:30 AM- Time to clear the overnight clutter of whatsapp messages.

9:00 AM- Now it's the turn of Facebook to remind me of the same cousins birthday and some random acquintances too.

9:15 AM- I call the Uber cool ‘Uber’ cab. Reach office and pay with ‘Paytm’ wallet. Enroute, I whatsapp the cousin.(the one who has her bday)

10:15 AM- The discussion in the content bay about ordering from ‘Frsh’ starts. We decide what to order, use a coupon and cash back from our mobile wallet and settle into the work schedule.

12 Noon- The ‘skype’ con call starts. We discuss the changes in our app and what else is needed to improve.
1 PM- M from my team receives the T-shirt he ordered from an online shopping portal. We all rejoice on fast delivery.

2 PM- I call ‘Uber’ again.

3 PM- I speak to the family in Ludhiana on ‘Facetime’ and exchange pleasentries.

4 PM- The kids want some chocolate. Being lazy to go out I check Grofers. To make up the minimum bill, I end up ordering some coffee.

4:30 PM- I check the vacation pics of a long lost friend on Instagram. Fuck the bitch. Damn jealous!

5 PM- The yoga instructor from Urban Clap comes to slice off the calories I gained from the coffee.

6 PM- The maid I hired from ‘Refer a Maid’ comes to cook the meal. She informs me that there is no gobi. I use the express delivery from Peppertap.

6:30 PM- The kids are playing(thankfully outdoors). I settle back to read the news on the TOI App.

7 PM- I remember that I have to share some pics with my sister in law in sydney. I share the dropbox link.

7:30 PM- With dinner, Kid 1 tells me she has to make a 'best from waste' of a flower. I go to google for help.

8 PM- I pay the electricity bill, phone bills, book a movie ticket for the weekend. Of course online! Didn't you get it already?

8: 30 PM- The maid tells me that Kid 2 is running out of diapers. I run to firstcry.com.

9 PM- I schedule rakhi deliveries for all my brothers across India at India-gift.in

10 PM- I play poker on adda52.com

10:30 PM- We decide to go out for a drive. I turn to zomato to find the nearest pastry shop.

11:30 PM- Give up on finding a pastry shop. Order from batman delivers.

Midnight- Before slipping into my short beauty sleep of 6 hours, I find the time to unlock a friend's game on Candy crush, take the daily bonus on Criminal Case and check tomorrow's weather on the app.

Repeat!