Whose right is it anyway?

Friends-Now and Forever

Life has been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few weeks. Someone very dear passed away. He left me wondering about the uncertainties life throws at us. He left me wondering about the fairness of such a youthful soul ending his happy journey so short. He left me wondering about whose right is it to leave, depart, pass away and meet the All Mighty far and beyond?

He wasn't my brother, he wasn't my best friend and he wasn't even my brother in law. He was my best friends husband. We shared a relation which didn't have a clear terminology. We just shared a person who meant the world to him and whom I have known for more than 2/3rd of my living years. We just shared a common bond that kept us together for 15 years. We shared our best friend!

At his remembrance/funeral ceremony, I saw the whole of Ludhiana town come out. Not a single eye was dry as Amit was remembered. Just 2 days shy of his 36th birthday and we were paying a tribute to his departed soul. Even in his framed pictured self, he was the most handsome man in the crowd. People lined up to offer flowers and bow down to pay their last respects to him. Old and young, men and women, hundreds of them came out.

As I sat in the third row behind Sumedha, my best friend trying to share her grief I saw the serpentine queue of people wanting to offer flowers to his picture. I watched as the oldest of them took a long time to walk, bow, fold their hands, murmur something and turn back to take a rare empty spot in the huge hall. Somehow it seemed like the oldest people in the hall were taking the longest time to pay their respects. Somehow it seemed like that they were murmuring something to the 'Lord' wondering of what upholds them next. Somehow it seemed like they were quizzical about whose time comes next? To me it looked like a dilemma of sorts where the trend of life was reversed. I was left wondering about who decides on who goes when? Who or what decides whose right is it to become the star that their kids follow for the rest of their lives? Whose right is it anyways to live or die?

An open tribute to Amit-

With you we laughed a lot and cried a little lesser,

Travelled the world a little more, in your company life was a pleasure.

It was with you that we downed those dozen pegs,

Partied the nights away and shook a few legs.

You were the reason that evenings together turned into dawns,

You with all your charisma and that never seen before brawn.

From the time we first met to the unsaid goodbyes,

You touched our lives so well but tore it apart after taking it high.

For a decade of happiness and being our friend,

we owe so much to you that it's difficult to think beyond the bend .

If there is a life after death, then come and lets be together, Amit,

Because nothing is the same anymore since you decided to call it The End.

If You are watching over us from the clouds far away,

Then come back soon, my friend, lets spend just another day.

We let you slip away so you could be our angel for life,

a life that now seems so empty, a life without much stride.

We cry for our loss and tuck you in our hearts,

always on our minds, a memory never to part.

We are a thousand miles away, in different rooms of God,

You are the sunlight in the rain and We are the clouds so dark.

We are thinking of you today and the days before that too,

these memories are for keeping now and are all that we have too.

From the time you walked in as yourself to now as a picture in a frame,

we wake up to this numb silence and often say your name.

We smiled when life made you happy and ached as things changed to pain,

Now you have left us alone and its tough to stay sane.

The moment you went away, our heart was split into two,

While one is wet with your memories, a part died with you.

In life we loved you dearly and in death we do the same,

From the moment you touched us to the time he called your name.

May you find everlasting peace, being together with the HIM,

Heaven must be so beautiful now, ever since you went in.

Life may go on without you, but it will never be the same,

As our most treasured memory You will always remain.

You are our star who will shine down from above,

Today, tomorrow and always with all our love.

Innocent by birth, Rotten with age!

When Navya first got bitten by the competition bug, I had no clue how to handle. it Her fascination with 'Coming First' in everything took me by surprise. It was something we had never discussed in the house, leave alone making her competitive to come first. But she wanted to come first in reaching the school bus stop, in finishing her meals, in racing back home from the bus stop and in playing with the neighbourhood kids in the evening. The only things she seemed to miss in this new excitement was finishing milk first. Nevertheless, a lot of tears and heartbreaks would ensue when she didn't reach the bus stop the first and some one else was already there. More cranky words when she came second while running back from the bus stop to home. Even more irritation when she wouldn't come first in the games her peer circle played in the evenings.

While I struggled to explain and handle the situation, I was beaten to the finish line by another 4 year old. Where my hours of cajoling and counselling didn't find a solution, it was Navya's best friend and our next door neighbour who found a solution. The always gentle Somil,  apparently didn't like how his friend cried each time he ran faster from their bus stop to our house. His first and obvious solution was 'slowing down'. They would both start running from the bus stop and then he would slow down in the middle so Navya overtakes him. That didn't help. My not so athletic delicate darling was quite a slow runner.

Somil innovated more. He combined his slowing down with cheering for her. This became a combined cheering session where all the parents and kids would cheer aloud for Navya to run faster. That worked for a few days but even this model couldn't be sustained for too long. Then one day, as these kids got off the bus and handed over their bags to their respective moms, I saw Somil stretch his hand out to Navya. Navya held it and Somil said, 'Lets go, Navya.' The two kids ran holding hands till the house. Lots of smiles, high fives and excitement. I almost chocked at what Somil had done. I had to hide my emotions at what that little man had done for his friend. Upon reaching home, Somil declared, " Navya First!" to this Navya reverted, "Nahi, Somil, HUM First!"

2 weeks of confusion solved in a moment by a 4 year old. Now they run holding hands everyday back home and I couldn't contain myself from asking Somil why he did this. "I cannot see her crying. If coming first is what she wants, then we both can come first like this." Innocence leading to such Innovation! Kudos to these kids who teach us a lesson or two in life each day.

Teary Eyed
R

An Open Letter to FlipKart

Dear Flipkart(hereby referred to as FK)...In my mind FK also means something else for you,

Yesterday was your much advertised, marketed and over-hyped Big Sale. A sale that you promised would surprise us with the best offers and most unbeatable prices. Surprise it did! Because everything that anyone wanted was either out of stock, available at lesser prices at Amazon.in or not delivering in my area.

And humble myself was a victim of all three problems mentioned above. Everything I wanted was out of stock at 8 am(the time I could open my eyes). The iphone4s you so publicly advertised at a rare 10% off was available at Amazon for 25% lesser. The icing on the cake was the Pampers Diapers. Though you deliver them every month at my place at the ordinary price, this time around when it was there for 25%, my region was not in the sellers delivery list. Did you forget your loyal customer who has been buying diapers for the past one year? Memory loss on a big day?

And today, I get an email from Sachin and Binny that they are apologetic for what happened. Is this some kind of a joke? Are you apologising for the loss of precious time I spent on your site(more than 3 hours at a rough estimate)? Or are you apologising that you have suddenly forgotten a loyal customer? Or are you simply apologising that you managed to more than exceed your revenue through the trillion ads that ran through yesterday? Or are you apologising for the free traffic and buyers you generated for Amazon.in?

You don't need an apology, you need a lesson! A free lesson in marketing! And the moral of the story is that no matter how good your marketing campaign is, you don't rule! The customer does! And the customers verdict is clear this time! I am not coming back to FK EVER again. I hope I speak for the Billions you tried to lure yesterday!

Aggrieved and Irritated
One Amongst Unequals

Ctrl-App-Delete-Time to Look Up!

Ever too often in the recent past I have seen the 'Look up' videos. It highlights a campaign which aims at minimizing the time spent with technology and admiring the real world. For me, it meant spending more time with the kids. After I saw the 'Look up' videos, I started taking note of the times my kids had to nudge me to life to get mine or the husband's attention. And it was always! Each time either of the kids came to us for something, both of us were staring at our phones. Most of the times it was a game for me and Twitter for Mohit. We both complained of the iPhone's draining battery. No one told us we use it too often that we drain the damn thing of its life.

So to take control of my life, stop to smell the flowers, hug the kids and kiss the Mr., I have decided to do an experiment with myself. Each Saturday morning, I will delete an application from my smart phone. This will go on week after week until I delete all 45(just counted) of them from my life. Today is the first day and I didn't choose the app. Yes, that is another strict test that I am subjecting myself to. I asked my kids to randomly select an app on my phone and I deleted it. Today was the turn of the Times of India(TOI) app. It is gone! Now i am down to 44 apps.

On an average I was perhaps opening the TOI app 4 times during a day. Mostly while in the loo. And mostly reading random, crazy news or surfing stupid fashion pictures. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! But a lot of time wasted perhaps. After all, a TOI app isn't the only way to stay updated with the world's news. In fact, even if I am not updated about the latest volcanic eruption in Iceland then how does it matter? Would I miss the volcano news for the first time my 15 month old calls me 'Mama'. You bet your boots!

This is the first week and an easy app is out of my life. The coming 44 weeks might mean deleting Facebook and Twitter which if left to me would be the last to go. That is the reason I left the option to the kids. It is them who deserve to pluck the culprits who are eating away the mummy's precious time. After all, the kids grow up only once. Apps come and go!

I am learning! I suggest each one of us does something to 'Look up, Take notice and Live!

10 things I learnt From Archie Comics

So all through my teens and adolescence and adult life, I have read Archie Comics. I still try to steal the time out to read the occasional comic only now in its digital avatar. Nevertheless Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead continue to humour my daily life out of its monotony even though I am 3 times the age of when I first discovered this Riverdale Gang. Going back I realise if it wasn't for Archie and his friends there would be so many things I wouldn't have known. Simple everyday things, but very important to know thingies. I decided to  make a list to share. So here are the top 10 things I learnt from Archie Comics-

1. How the School Tap works in US Schools- Now for some one like me I grew up in a standard school which had a normal tap which gave out water vertically downwards. If I had not read Archie Comics I wouldn't have known the existence of the tap that gives out water upwards. I would be ignorant and made fun of during my trips abroad.
2. Ek Ladka Ladki Kabhi dost nahi ho sakte- Even before Salman Khan was told this in his Maine Pyar Kiya, Archie Comics had already taught us this. Thanks to the love triangle/quadruple of Archie/Betty/Veronice/Reggie, we already knew that the opposite sex can only fall in love.
3. Kissing- Now actually kissing is something that I had never done. even talking about kissing was taboo and next to porn. But Archie randomly kissed Betty, Veroninica and other girls. So the learning was that a kiss isn't taboo or porn, it is actually an emotion, an affection.
4. There is something called Drugs- At the back of each Archie Comic used to be a message called 'Say No to Drugs'. I used to wonder what do they mean. Drugs were medicines and medicines are important if one takes ill. Quite later I came to know what drugs meant. Dope aka grass aka hash came into the lives of an Indian teen of the 1990's quite late thankfully.
5. Drown your sorrows in a thick Malt- I had never heard this word. Jughead was responsible for this. He introduced me to malt and that someone can actually drown their sorrows in a malt. I follow that to the tee. Only I put on weight and he is on a different metabolism completely.
6. The Detention Room- Though I still have to see an actual detention room but if it wasn't for Riverdale High and the antics of Archie and his friends I would've never known what detention is.
7. People can have red hair- Carrot top, or whatever you call him. He is truly adorable. But neither had i ever seen or known that a human can have red hair. Archie walked into my life with a totally new colour of facial hair.
8. Weekends are for fun- Growing up as a youngster in a small town, we had no concept of fun, parties or weekends. Archie and his gang looked forward to weekends and long drives and parties. I am glad they showed me and the world this. Otherwise how would Varun Dhawan croon 'Saturday, Saturday!'
9. It is good to be skinny- a decade before the size zero mania hit the country, Betty and Veronica had already told us that it is fashionable to be thin and in shape. I could never manage that though.
10. Good guys don't finish last- whatever stupid things Archie did, he was always the quintessential good guy. and at the end of each comic, he did manage to get the girl. Thus the old adage 'Good guys finish last' was beaten and hope was restored in the goodness of people.

This lovable gang has now evolved to include a more modern outlook with a gay couple coming in the picture. Archie has even died I have learnt. But they continue to be such cool people for me. they are my 5 minute cat nap that I don't get in the day. They are my cooling gels that I use when there is no one around. And see they taught me so much. I sure wouldn't be this cool if Archie wasn't around.

If boys will be boys continues...Then life is doomed!

We are a country that runs the maximum education schemes for the girl child.

We are a country that wants quotas for females in the political system.

We are a country that makes the maximum noise for anti-dowry laws.

We are a country that has politicians going at loggerheads over women empowerment.

Yet, we are THE country most notorious for its rapes of women.

Off late, rapes of females in their juvenile form.

In their most innocent and simple form.

I am a female. I got upset, anguished and scared all at the same time when the 'Nirbhay' case came to light. I felt insecure and doomed as a lady. I feared going out on the Indian roads alone even during the day times. I slowly reconciled, despite her losing her life's battle falling prey to someone's crave for lust. 

I am a mother. I got mad, enraged and scared again. This time when the Bangalore 6 year old girl rape came to news. This time double scared since I am a mother to two small girls. I am supposed to protect them. They are my life-long responsibility. How can I protect them from monsters when I am already scared about myself? 

Each morning I walk my 4 year old daughter to the bus stop. One morning the bus was empty at her stop and she was the only child on the bus till the next stop. I had to make the quick decision to hop on the bus with her and not let her be ferried alone, in this mad world. Why am I forced to live in this fear? I gave birth to two beautiful girls thinking they will have just as good or maybe a better living than I have. But how can they have even a peaceful existence at best if at each turn, there is a set of eyes stripping them down. 

Back to the morning bus stroll with the daughter. While we wait for the bus to come, we are forced to see 3-4 male laborers taking a half naked bath in the open. I always turn my gaze away giving them their moment of privacy. One morning, a female labourer was also taking a bath there, complete with her sari on. The neighbours guard and servant looked on for the complete 5 minutes without as much as blinking an eye. Is it about education or simply being a male? What is it? If Iam  looking away while a male is bathing in open  vision, then why can't two men also look away if a fully clad woman is forced to bathe in the open? Are males that disgusted or frustrated in life? Disclaimer for stereotyping the 'superior sex' but the way things are in our country today, it just gets you so anguished that you are forced to brand all alike.

When will we begin to look at a female for anything else but her body?

When will we let little girls just be what they are? Small little girls!

When will we let mothers like me live in peace with themselves and for their girls?

Life is about living, enjoying and loving and not merely about rage, fear and lust!

Think about it, boys!

P.S. The tone of my blog is nowhere near the anguish I feel about this issue. I have tried to keep my tone as mellowed so someone can understand. 

Some worth a look links---
Identify a Pedophile
Good Touch Bad Touch Video

What is with Football and Men?

If there is any man on TV(besides Narendra Modi, of course) who gets Mohit excited, jumpy, nervous and restless then its the one in the football jersey. And when 11 of them come together to face off against another 11, then it is a total riot in the living room. If they decide to dedicate a whole world cup to themselves then there is a paranoia in the house, at the work place and on the streets. That's what Football and the FIFA World Cup does to Mohit, most of his friends, most of the males at work, most of my male cousins, most of the people in this world with an X and Y Chromosome.

The FIFA World Cup is the time when this madness heightens. Even those who remotely have heard of the off side rule or think Ronaldo still means the former Brazilian player seem to be bitten by this football. Restauraunts start offering football platters, retail stores give away football t-shirts as shopping benefits; even poker sites start poker promotions laden with FIFA world cup. And this year it is in Brazil so the madness is even more. The only words I associated with Brazil were 'wax' and 'samba', now I know of a Brazilian Pauro, a Brazilian Caipirinha, even some male Brazilian bones like the one fractured by Neymar.

So I decided to figure out that what is with men and football? Why do men watch football? I thought, over thought and made a list:

1. Helps them show emotion: Taking the example from home ground itself. Mohit likes to wear his team specific football jersey and he sighs, jumps, laughs, abuses et al during the whole 90 minutes. So many emotions that perhaps I don't let him express come out when these 22 men fight over that round ball.
2. Male Bonding: Again the same example. During a match Mohit messages, calls, updates his status, comments on football status of other guys who are doing the same. Thus the male bonding.
3. Male Aggression and Skill: this is quite obvious. during a football match, every man in front of a screen is taking out his brutal force and aggression through the 22 who are battling on screen. Just like back seat drivers, men become TV players who vent out their aggression. Tactical skills and planning is something that men love to do and watching a football gives them the chance to show off their skills and advise on the topic.
4. Gender Inequality: If there is one game that men are proven to be better at then that is football. This game is like a war for every man watching it. Everything is about aggression, force, battle ground, war room etc etc....Thus everything about the game of football is very manly. There is no place for a female in it except for when she is the occasional hot WAG.
5. Excitement: And now the obvious. Football breaks the monotony of a man's life. He can shed the shackles of the stereotypes and sit in front of the TV screen and enjoy his moment of thrill. Football is that 'zone' of every man which no wife/girlfriend can ever break. Not with desire, not with sensuality and not even with football knowledge. Give a man the FIFA World Cup tickets to Brazil and he will skip his own wedding.

Halong Bay: A trip long awaited

Normally when I wake up early in the mornings it is always to either feed the baby or visit the toilet and I am back in the saddle within minutes, but not on 17th June as our Star Cruise Ship merrily cruised away in the South China Sea. I did wake up to put the baby off but then I decided to take a look at the sun rise from our 6X6 Balcony of our cabin.

What I saw was something my eyes had never gazed before. In lay mans language, all around the panorama were small islands, very very small islands cuddled next to each other like some hillocks merging to form a single mountain. All along the seascape as the ship moved slowly were  islands, sometimes alone, sometimes huddled in groups, mostly small but some of the bigger ones looked like mountain peaks in themselves. Emerging from the sea like majestic blocks of stones with a geography of their own.

As I tried to see how far ahead were we to hit Halong City, I could see one of these islets right next to the nose of the ship. The ship veered a bit to give the natural structure its due and kept making its way. I stood in awe of what nature was throwing at me. We were in Halong Bay.

In the midst of this splendour the sun decided to rise and show its respects. And I realised why was I made to wait five years and 2 kids to get to view this. Because I was supposed to stand in surreal silence at 6 am in the middle of the sea to witness the orange rays plunging out of from the islets and lighting up the blue waters. I decided not to scamper for my camera and first take in what I was witnessing. My eyes wanted to be the lens that wanted to capture this moment first and then capture it for the world to see. It all looked like the perfect moment from a dream where all is calm and at peace. That specific instance when the reality looks far off, you feel so close to an eternal existence and are afraid of even blinking at the cost of waking up. I am short of words and emotions and the pictures are short of a few frames. Halong Bay is that killer beauty that deserves a poets description and an expert lens-mans art.

I finally did click a few shots from my smartphone which definitely didn't do justice to the beauty that Halong Bay has. Now, for everyone who doesn't know,  Halong Bay has been on my 'must visit' list for an eternity. I have made, re-made and cancelled plans for Halong Bay on one pretext or the other every year. In 2014 when the nice man from MMTP told me the Star Cruise ship SuperStar Virgo was now plying the Hongkong-Sanya-Halong Bay-Hong Kong route after a hiatus of many years, I knew this was the vacation I wanted and we were soon jet setting.

While I know someday I will go back to Halong bay to look at the 1600 islets and also go within some of those mighty caves to look at the limestone karsts but for now I am bowing down to nature. UNESCO World Heritage Site and all is fine but nothing can go about naming or branding this natural extravaganza at its best. 

I am alone!!

The world seems to be going somewhere,
In my slow steps I am alone....
They heard some good news today,
In my confusion I am alone...
There is some heavy gifting taking place,
In my offense to the ritual I am alone...
Everyone is playing Diwali cards,
In my monetary losses I am alone...
My friends are a part of a league,
In my tryst to a clean sweep I am alone...
He seems to be catching his full sleep,
In my cat naps I am alone...
They are eating some tempting chocolate,
In my diet I am alone...
There's a mad rush on the streets,
In smelling the roses I am alone...
The stress is on some sensible prose,
In my nonsensical poetry I am alone...

Life's simple lessons are learnt Patiently and Silently

Six Months back I bought Navya a BSA Dora Bicycle. I saved Rs. 1000 on the MRP by buying it from the Sadar Bazar and was fairly proud of that fact. The cycle lay around in the ground floor storage for a little while till I decided to teach Navya how to ride it. Now riding is simple but cycling isn't. She did ride it instantly. Priding herself with her prized Dora bike but she didn't believe in pedaling the cycle into movement. On the few occasions that I cajoled her into pedaling the vehicle, she managed a semi-circle of leg movement which led to the cycle moving a few feet and then stopping.

For a week, I took her out on the road in front of my house trying to teach her how to pedal a full circle and thus create motion for the bike. Navya just didn't get it! She would do a semi circle with her legs, then rotate them back and do another semi-circle and so on. The cycle continued to move but definitely in the wrong way. Soon like the weather, I also started losing my cool. After umpteen lectures, some shouting and threats and an occasional smack; I thought something was seriously wrong with either the bike or with Navya's reflexes. I threatened her with the obvious- The cycle goes back! Voila, she was riding it in a flash. and it had taken 14 or more frustrating days full of anger and disgust for me. So much for being a good mother.

Flash Forward down two months and the neighbours also buy their son(Navya's classmate and friend) a similar cycle with one of those boyish idols. Pokemon or Ben 10 or something, not sure! Anyhow, the father took the responsibility of teaching the son how to cycle. Every evening he got him out on the same road, moved the cycle's pedals in 360 degrees umpteen times and showed him how motion is created. But still the child rode like Navya did in the beginning. Semi circles and then back rotation. He also refused to move the pedals in a complete circle. I understood then that this is how human body works. A child will take his own sweet time understanding this type of new motion.

For days, my neighbour patiently and quietly went with his son on the road riding to and fro many times. Not losing his cool when the kid didn't complete the cyclic motion and kept making semi-circles. Day after day, the father-son could be seen repeating this activity. The father event moved the pedals in circles and ran with the child as motion was created. He did this for days together, running, moving the pedals and teaching. Today, after more than 3 weeks, the boy finally cycled a complete circle. The whole street rejoiced and clapped. The father jumped up in joy. He clapped, he sighed, he held his hands up in relief, he kissed his son. But he made no noise just like he hadn't done in these past weeks while patiently teaching him to cycle.

My neighbour has a hearing and speaking disorder and he cannot talk to his son. But he still taught his son patiently all this while. I, who can talk, hear and do much more resorted to everything but patience to teach Navya. Sometimes the simplest lessons in life are learnt in silence. Sometimes the simplest things in life are taken for granted. Note to Self: Count your blessings! Kudos to the patient father who understands the child better than us mere mortals!

Some words that I have learnt during #Elections2014

The past two months have seen a kind of pre-occupied sense of political air in my house. This culminated into a euphoria on 16th May when the Modi wave of the past gave way to a thumping victory for the 'Sarkar' of  Narendra Damodardas Modi. A new era, everyone suggested had begun in Indian politics. Congratulations and Celebrations exchanged. Both at home. At work. Even on the road sides. Everyone is currently abuzz and wishing the man of the moment and has high hopes pinned on him.

Now I am a person of limited knowledge when it comes to politics and few other dozen topics. But with the overflow of information in the Bansal household, thanks to the biggest Modi fan I know was enough to teach me a bit. Now Mohit Bansal who was on a self-granted 3 month leave from everything that involved the house so he could campaign for Modi on social media has agreed to return from the exile and impose himself to the family again. Even Modiji has acknowledged the sacrifice that I have given for these 3 months in giving him my husband through the letter enclosed here. Anyhow, I have understood the meanings of certain words in these past few months thanks to the atmosphere in the country and everywhere around me.

Campaign-
What it meant for me- Till 2 months back, I only knew of Social Media campaigns which onlinepokernews.in ran for its readers. Now I know otherwise.

Right Wing/Left Wing-
What it meant for me- Some sort of political parties with some sort of views.

Pseudo Secular-
What it meant for me- Word No 1 prevalent in every article in every newspaper. I have no clue what it meant as a phrase. The husband used it multiple times every day for the past 3 months. I don't have an opinion on whether being secular is a good thing or no.

Minority Appeasement-
What it meant for me- Word No 2 prevalent in every article in every newspaper. Now I knew what the two words know separately. Keeping the minorities happy. Why that is a controversial one, I don't know. Clueless and don't plan to understand. It sounds like one of those 'divide and rules' sort of words.

Communal Riots-
What it meant for me- Word No 3 used in every article in every newspaper. This is one word every Indian is used to reading and so hates. I learnt the true meaning of this word in the context of the Indian Electorate(another word I learnt) through the past months.

Gujarat Model-
What it meant for me- Word No 4 used in every article in every newspaper. This word was something I understood when I visited Ahmadabad in Dec 2013. Only a visit to one of the developed cities of Gujarat can explain this 'Gujarat Model'.

Hindu-Nationalist-
What it meant for me- Word No 5 used in every article in every newspaper. Clueless and don't plan to understand. It sounds like one of those 'divide and rules' sort of words.

Governance-
What it meant for me- The rule that India was subjected to these past 67 years was some form of governance. What is the good side of governance is about to begin NOW. Knock Wood.

AAPtard-
What it meant for me- For a long time, I thought it was a non-abusive word coined for everyone who followed AAP blindly. I only realised the connection with the word B@$^@%D a month back. Call me stupid or plain gullible.

Bhakt
What it meant for me- People who visited temples regularly and believed in the God All mighty. But these are supposed to be another category of Bhakts who opine, debate and support BJP(read Modi) to any extent.

Dynasty Politics-
What it meant for me- The only Dynasty whose rulers I could remember by heart till a few months back was the Mughal Dynasty. But now I also know another Dynasty in India. Are they done and dusted? Only time will tell.

My political vocabulary repertoire is still very limited and I do not wish it increases too much if the colors are in black above are the ones which will be added. Happy to add the colorful red color words and hopefully Modi will bring about this brightness in our lives. The grey colored words are the ones that the country can get rid of immediately.

Take a Bow! Awaiting Good, better and bestest Times! We rest our faith in Modi, lets hope and pray he delivers!

R

Not an Year now but 21 months

So we celebrated Myra's first birthday on 8th May. And as they say, it does seem like yesterday that I actually held her for the first time and looked into those pretty eyes and held that tiny hand. But then again, she is turning one for the others. For me she has been one year for so long. For me she completes 21 months now and soon two years. Nine months within my system and the 12 months outside my physical body but so synced with my inside always.

For me, she is the second born who didn't do any thing path breaking but was still so special that no words can express it. She didn't make me a mother, I was already one. She didn't make me a mom of a daughter, I had already mothered one. Yet, she was special. She didn't add to the 'Indian' quintessential 'Happy Family' thingie but for insiders she did complete us. She may not have been the 'son' to complete our family but she is the 'child' who does make us a family and a complete one at that!

From the time that she was first kicking inside the tummy to todays times when she slaps my face lovingly, Myra is the 'not so pampered' second child. The child who when was born came with the two word declaration from the operating doc- 'Girl child'. Thats what she proclaimed and my heart skipped a beat. Not because I wanted a boy child but because I hoped my family would still be able to rejoice. I always knew I was having a daughter, both times in my pregnancy. Mothers always know!

But to uphold the collective hopes of an Indian family together and bring 'wholesome' joy to them is a difficult task. Congratulations were exchanged but the smiles were faint. Maybe it was fatigue! My heart knew the obvious. But the two smiles that matter the most were bright and curvy. Navya and Mohit coudn't be happier. While the first born had become an elder sister, the doting father was happy to add to his female following! And as the aches and pains of a C-Section delivery went away so did the uncertainty of how loved my 'second girl child' be.

Her birth an year back did mature me into a more responsible character. I started hallucinating of the times they will marry and go away. I was dreading the dowry discussions and the after marriage wrath. Too much, too early. But then again, being a mother is tiring enough and being that of 'two female kiddies' in India is a whole different thing. There is the physical strain on your body as well as the mental responsibility that stays 24 hours. Just another side-effect of being in this Indian society.

The Modern Mommy may not relate to anything that i wrote. But it is the bitter truth that has to be digested with some sugar coating. I and my family love my two daughters to bits and would not want to have anything but them as our first choice. But somewhere in those empty expressions that the world gives when it sees you with two daughters and those curious questions of a third 'boy' child leads to a vaccum that nothing can fill and no one can understand. Apart from the responsibility that comes with mothering two daughters in an Indian society, life throws at you these social conditions that you have to brave through...

Being a second daughter myself, I find it fitting to share this on Mothers Day and tribute it to my Mom. She sailed through in those 'orthodox' times in a 'joint' family so I can surely grumble off the occasional critic. 

10 Reasons why Daughters are better than Husbands

Daughters are a blessing, we all know that! But have you ever noticed how good daughters are for your ego? Have you ever realised how good daughters make you feel? Rather have you ever seen how much better they are than your husbands. Navya, in the recent past has made me spell out some reasons why daughters are better than your husbands.

1. They Notice, they Compliment: Unlike blindfolded husbands, daughters take notice when you wear a new dress or get a haircut. And they don;t stop there, they even compliment.
2. Love to talk to you: Daughters can go on talking to you endlessly. They listen to you, love to hear you talk and share things to the final details. Unlike 'youknowwho'.
3. Say Sorry: Daughters say sorry when their mommies are hurt by them unlike their 'feel nothing, turn to stone' fathers. They apologize, complete with the ear holding and sit ups etc.
4. Hug you and Kiss you: hugs and kisses are never rationed when you have daughters. They want to hug you when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are cooking and even when you are in the toilet. Bear hugs and wet kisses are a present daughters come with each day.
5. Ogle at you when you dress up: If you need an audience and your own personal admiration choir, then get a daughter. When putting on make up, little girls are completely in awe of you. They look at you with delectable pride when mothers are putting on make up and getting ready and the blizzard of compliments start even before the task is complete.
6. Say I Love you a dozen times: While hubby dear things the 3 magical words are 'Pass the Remote' or 'Chicken for dinner', daughters know that 'I Love you' a dozen times a day is the magic portion to get the groove going. 
7. Hold hands while sleeping: While the husband steers clear of the hand while sleeping, your daughter will hold it long enough for you to get tired. Hold hands, hug tightly and sleep is the order for the night with tiny girls.
8. Shares the Remote: While the remote is the 'remote' property of the husband, daughters are different. They will share the remote control for TV's with their moms and don't assert that their bosses in the living room.
9. Looks at you when talking: Daughters stare in your eyes dreamily when talking to you and not at a screen. Your little girls are always awestruck by you and always look at you when you speak unlike your 'man' who prefers to look at a screen than you.
10. Has the household weaved around her little finger: Last but not the least, these little angels hold the key to the household. They have daddy around their tiny finger and have remote controlled access over him. They can make anyone do anything they want to. Especially make the daddies dance to their tune.

Dedicated to my Two Little Girls....

R

Of Pimples, School Bags and Band-Aids: Aboard the TSRS bus-sy

I didn't know mornings were this pretty. The nocturnal animal that I am, I always missed this part of a day when as they say ' the sun rises from the east'. I just could never make my lazy self to rise and shine with the initial rays. Now I am forced to do this and more.

With the first born starting school, I am up early in the AM. 6 is wakey-wakey time for me now which might be regular for several others but is 2 hours too early for me. Two tiffins, one child to bathe and feed and the self to look sane enough for the bus stop parent greetings! This is all that I can manage within an hour. What with the schools rule of parents accompanying a toddler to school for the first few days in the bus? It proved to be a blessing in disguise, it not only gave me inspiration to write this blog but also live the good ol' days.

Now school kids these days are poles apart from the time I was a school kid. We wore pleated skirts which almost touched the ankles. They wear shorts that are so high they don't have a measure in the Centimeters for it. The language they speak is also alien to most of us who winded up school in the early 90's. While we were stuck with 'haww, usne tujhe aisa kaha' and 'arre, tu meri best freind hain' and some more of 'chal, aaj college road se samosa khane chalte hain'. The kids of this millennium are way too cool with 'Come on, I ain't going to his party' and 'Eeks, like get your smug face off me, dude' and some more of 'Chill mate/babes, see you at starbucks in the PM'. I heard them all and understood just a bit.

Some of them, rather a lot of them have red, yello, printed, polka dotted Bandages on their knees, elbows, chin, finger and even cheeks. I wonder how so many managed to get hurt at the same time. The pimples are an even phenomenon on the adolescent ones but so diverse is their language.

The energy of the school bus of today's times has 'coolness' borrowed from the mornings, it seems. While there are those group of 9th grade girls with cool, neon bangles and funky, bright backpacks; there is also a group of 6th grade boys reading the morning newspaper and discussing their science project. Both are conversing in a lingo I cannot decipher. The former because I am too backward and the latter because the conversation is too smart for lesser mortals.

Even the toddlers on this bus are cooler then their worried moms who are accompanying them on their debut trip. Mine chooses a seat next to her neighbor-cum-classmate-cum-male-acquaintance(she says he isn't a friend cos boy's aren't so), buckles the seat belt and holds the front latch of the bus for support. Me, the mom struggles and shuffles in the bus seat almost till the school gates open. She walks with poise, holds the neighbor cum classmate cum acquaintance's hand, puts her school bag on and waves bye from the pit stop in school. I wipe the tear off and wonder! A 10th grader comes to me and tells me to chill and go home for a cuppa. She even pats my shoulder. I am so surprised at the grown-up support from the school kid that I am forced to say in their lingo and spell the abbreviation loud- OMG.

Where was I while this generation next was growing up? Not only are they cool but they are also so strong, informed, intelligent, confident and all the other good adjectives. The bus was a good trip, thanks to these new insights for me. Good work, I must say! Kudos to today's schools and parents alike!

The Biology of an AAP Supporter: 5 ‘B’s’ that go to distinguish them

I always thought the husband was wasting time when he went heads-up against AAP supporters and burnt the midnight oil trying to have a debate with them. Now after burning my hands in my first ever debate over political thoughts, I do not only think but am confirmed that not only my husband but several others like him are truly wasting their time. AAP supporters are a different species and I have tried to sum up my experience with some such species in the following 5 B’s. Correct me if I am wrong and please do not take anything personally.

1. BIASED: they are baised, in CAPS and they know it. They have a biased notion set in their mind and hate to listen. They believe that there are only two shades of politics: Black and White. They believe AAP is white while everyone else is black. They move with the pre-conceived and self-proclaimed notion that AAP and all its candidates are clean while the whole world is corrupt. They sit on a high moral ground, thanks to their biasness that they have rights to say anything since they are an AAP supporter. They have a clear bias against Narendra Modi and thus try to converge all discussion about damage that AAP did into the 2002 riots and blah bah.
2. BLINDERS: They have blinders on their eyes which not only gives them the capacity to only see in the AAP way: the way that AK and AAP has hypnotised them to see but also BLOCK all other material facts. Their blinders block them from hearing anything else out and only apply allegation after allegation. 
3. BAFFLED. Here is what they do in debates: Ask Q1 on topic 1. Someone answers Q 1 with facts. They swerve away to Topic 2 and ask Q2. They receive an answer supported with facts and URL’s. They go back to Q1. And follow up with Q 3 and Q4. When someone starts answering Q3 and Q4, they go back to counter allegations that why wasn’t Q2 answered. So they jump from here to there ignoring any facts and figures and carry their ‘BAFFLED’ and confused opinion from one debate to another.
4. BELIEF: Their belief in AAP is always backed by emotional attachment and their righteousness claims. They have no facts to support and they also do not wish to accept or listen to any facts. They just stay emotionally attached to their belief with no factual data to distinguish their AAP guys from the other politicians of India.
5. BJP: Yes, the 'bhajpa' of India is one of the biggest thing that they have on mind. Always in an anti-BJP mode, they love to throw links to vernacular websites that have opined against BJP ever. They keep down grading BJP and have nothing to credit AAP with. 

Some of their ‘BELIEF’s-

·         AAP performed during their 49 day stint...HAHA! They sat on dharnas! Heard a CM sitting on a dharna! They gave freebies. That’s giving away my tax payers money, not governance.

·         AAP sacrificed their government and didn’t quit: WOW! Big myth! They were power hungry and they RAN away. They quit at the earliest pretext because they had a larger plan in mind. They wanted time and space to campaign for the biggest ‘kursi’ in the country and thats why QUIT.

·         AAP is Honest, everyone else is corrupt: Please explain the number of criminal cases against your many candidates and also the fact that why is their party full of BJP-Congress reject candidates?

·         AAP doesn’t believe in vote bank politics: That’s what they claim others do while they are truly secular? Why talk of Muslim appeasement in their manifesto then?

Life's musings, Life's emotions...

Once upon a time not very long back a young lady had walked into our lives. We stayed in Punjabi bagh that time. Navya was barely 9 months. I was struggling with housework, the baby and an upcoming move to Gurgaon. At this busy phase in life, she joined my house as domestic help and made our lives as easy as any human can. She was a cook, she was a cleaner, she was a baby sitter, she was the care giver, she was everything one household needs. She cooked yummy food for us, she looked after my daughter, she kept the whole place clean. There was nothing that this lady couldn't do. A lot of work and more work is what she did all through the day.

She was a great cook, she taught me how to make lachcha paranthas. She looked after Navya so well that sometimes people joked that my daughter was happier with her than me. She worked around the clock and never complained. But on some bad days, she only mused about how she was still single at 25 year old. I always humored her to forget getting married and enjoy her freedom. But she always said she wished to get married.

One day we all went to Udaipur and left her behind in the house. She was supposed to look after the house. She did keep the house up and about and safe those 3 days. When we came back, we realised she was in love with our driver. This wasn't going to be one of those cheap romances that dwell between domestic helps. We thought they would give up. They didn't. We moved to Gurgaon. Our driver and the domestic help also moved, still in love.

Once in Gurgaon, they decided to get married. We had no qualms as long as they both worked for us. They went to their village, got married and came back. She was even more efficient now. Getting married was one of her prime wishes and since that was fulfilled so she looked to life with a lot of hope. Soon she came to know that she was pregnant. She still continued to work with equal diligence. She worked with us for another six months after which she said she needed a break. We let her go with a heavy heart. Not because we would be short of help but because we would miss her. My daughter would miss her like crazy. When she left, Navya was a babbling baby who was learning to talk. My domestic help always told her to call her 'Didi' but Navya struggled with it. Ironically, a week after she left, Navya started saying 'Didi'.

3 months later, she called to say that she had had a baby boy and they were both healthy. We settled into our new house and she promised us that once her baby was one year old she would come back to work with us. We were keen on that arrangement since she was a hard worker. Another few months passed by and we forgot about her promise.

Then one day we decided to call the number that belonged to her brother to check on when she planned to be in the city. She always said she was a city girl and couldn't stay in her village for too long. So we thought let's enquire if she wants to come back and work with us. Her brother answered the phone and cried and told my mother in law that 'Meena' had died. She had used her dupatta to hang herself after a fight with her husband. She had died in a fit of rage and left her child behind.

None of us could digest this news. It was like a rude shock which jolted us. Yes, we had forgotten about her in our mundane lives but that didn't mean we didn't care. Apparently she had some differences with her husband(our driver) from the beginning which led to this impulse decision.

It took me many days to take down this bad piece of news. That female had spent almost 2 years in my house and had helped in every which way possible. The only way we had helped her was giving her a platform where she fell in love with the guy she married which eventually led to her demise. This didn't add up to much help at all actually. So how much of it was my fault, I thought. I had hired her. I had got her in my house. I had left her alone in the house to go to Udaipur. I had allowed her to follow her affair with my driver. I had let her marry that man. Thus, in a way I had made her life miserable enough to die. I am left confused with these thoughts. It has created so much fuss in my mind that after 6 months of her death I have finally reconciled to the fact that I didn't create a situation which led to her death. I created a situation which let her live her entire lifetime in those 2 years. She got married which was her main wish and even became a mother.

I don't know if I am saying this to let the guilt scrape off me or being positive is the way to go here. I am clueless. And this confusion is what has stopped me from writing about her for these 6 months. For some who read this, it might look trivial to share an experience of a mere domestic help on my blog. But only those whose lives she touched would understand what I mean.

R.I.P Meena. I always think of you when me make lachcha paranthas at home. 

My Facebook Status: Past, present and future

Just got a simple email from Facebook saying that its been seven years that I joined the social networking site. 7 is also the number of years I have been married. Anyhow, I decided to look into my facebook history and came upon something very interesting. A timeline of my facebook statuses. It made for such an interesting read that I decided to share them and also predict some of my statuses for times to come.

I have picked the top 3 statuses of each year to share and also written one top status update for the next 7 years.

Sept 2007: ....at home( Would you believe it? I actually made that status update)

Oct 2007: ....is very happy today. Mohit and Rupal have bought their first joint possession. Their Honda Civic Car. (Clap, Clap) People actually congratulated. Thanks, guys

Dec 2007: ....is totally hooked on to poker...(Story of my life, even one of the earlier statuses from my FB TL depics what has transpored in the past 7 years)...ufff

Mar 2008: ...is back from relaxing Langkawi to stressful Delhi(always ready to beat my travel trumpet)

May 2008: ....wants the good weather to stay(good weather in May, you must have lost it woman)

Aug 2008:....is wishing at least one of her friends calls instead of SMS on F-day.(something I still wish)

Apr 2009: ...is in IPL Mode( Once upon a time I was fond of cricket)

July 2009: ...is happy for her two bestest friends. Both with kiddies today. (And the kiddie brigade had arrived big time in our lives)

Sept 2009:...thinks Mohit is the best( And believes it firmly till date)

Apr 2010:...is there a way to husband lock the sports channels? (believe it or not, I know how to now)

May 2010:...A little birdie told me June is the month for baby showers( I dropped hints and finally even asked for one, but for nothing)

Oct 2010: Navya Bansal, the one that completes us(Not the official birth announcement of our first one, but def her name announcement)

May 2011:...My daughters Mothers day gift: 8 hours sleep( And the sleep woes continue till date)

July 2011:...times they are a changing. Rupal to 2 year old niece: What do you want for your bday? Savera: an iPad /massi.(the gadget boom is here to stay)

August 2011: Height of Annaism, Mohit wants to name daighter navya Anna Bansal(Seriously heights, he loved Anna then and hates Kejriwal now)

Feb 2012: is in blissland...Mommydum( how these Ludhiana trips have dried up)

July 2012: will be unavailable on phone or BBM for next 10 days, pls FB me( in other words, I am going to phoren land...)

Dec 2013: Moving houses twice, decorating 4500 sq feet of space, kids first(and hopefully last) fracture, little bro growing up to marry, scares over husbands injury, dealing with a second pregnancy! sprinkled with lots of happy and bad news!!!! 2012 was supposed to leave us extinct. But we are still there; breathing, existing , living ! 2013 , you better be full of happier times, healthier living and peaceful existence....(truly summed up a hectic year)

April 2013: I tell him: the baby is kicking very less today. He answers barely moving his gaze from the tv: aaj Sunday hain, baby ki chutti hain...(second baby around  the corner and the parents are so much more relaxed)

May 2013: that rare time of the day when both girls are sleeping. (now 2 angels to watch over me)

June 2013: Mohit, aaj khush to bahut ho...wife leaves today, namo starts tomo( and this marked the entry of narendra modi into our lives)

Jan 2014: I will go on dharna if my TL isnt freed of AAP and /bjp updates( this political misery is here to stay)

And now some FB update predictions

July 2015: is playing the WSOP Main event...Vegas, you bitch

Jan 2016: is watching Nadal lift the Australian Open trophy at Melbourne

Mar 2017: 10 years...n thx for the JAG dear husband.

An intt thread for FB. share yours if you have the time to write. I do have time to read.