What is with Football and Men?

If there is any man on TV(besides Narendra Modi, of course) who gets Mohit excited, jumpy, nervous and restless then its the one in the football jersey. And when 11 of them come together to face off against another 11, then it is a total riot in the living room. If they decide to dedicate a whole world cup to themselves then there is a paranoia in the house, at the work place and on the streets. That's what Football and the FIFA World Cup does to Mohit, most of his friends, most of the males at work, most of my male cousins, most of the people in this world with an X and Y Chromosome.

The FIFA World Cup is the time when this madness heightens. Even those who remotely have heard of the off side rule or think Ronaldo still means the former Brazilian player seem to be bitten by this football. Restauraunts start offering football platters, retail stores give away football t-shirts as shopping benefits; even poker sites start poker promotions laden with FIFA world cup. And this year it is in Brazil so the madness is even more. The only words I associated with Brazil were 'wax' and 'samba', now I know of a Brazilian Pauro, a Brazilian Caipirinha, even some male Brazilian bones like the one fractured by Neymar.

So I decided to figure out that what is with men and football? Why do men watch football? I thought, over thought and made a list:

1. Helps them show emotion: Taking the example from home ground itself. Mohit likes to wear his team specific football jersey and he sighs, jumps, laughs, abuses et al during the whole 90 minutes. So many emotions that perhaps I don't let him express come out when these 22 men fight over that round ball.
2. Male Bonding: Again the same example. During a match Mohit messages, calls, updates his status, comments on football status of other guys who are doing the same. Thus the male bonding.
3. Male Aggression and Skill: this is quite obvious. during a football match, every man in front of a screen is taking out his brutal force and aggression through the 22 who are battling on screen. Just like back seat drivers, men become TV players who vent out their aggression. Tactical skills and planning is something that men love to do and watching a football gives them the chance to show off their skills and advise on the topic.
4. Gender Inequality: If there is one game that men are proven to be better at then that is football. This game is like a war for every man watching it. Everything is about aggression, force, battle ground, war room etc etc....Thus everything about the game of football is very manly. There is no place for a female in it except for when she is the occasional hot WAG.
5. Excitement: And now the obvious. Football breaks the monotony of a man's life. He can shed the shackles of the stereotypes and sit in front of the TV screen and enjoy his moment of thrill. Football is that 'zone' of every man which no wife/girlfriend can ever break. Not with desire, not with sensuality and not even with football knowledge. Give a man the FIFA World Cup tickets to Brazil and he will skip his own wedding.