Cutting the umbilical cord

When OPN, the online poker news website I look after was invited to cover its first live poker tournament, the only thought worrying me was 'What about the kids?' I couldn't take them but I couldn't leave them. It would mean additional expense, additional responsibility on the trip and lesser time to focus on the reporting job at hand. The middle path was chosen. It was decided to leave the 3 year old DD with Mom and take the 6 month DD (who has to be with me for obvious reasons).

Now taking a decision is easier than implementing it. As the departure date came nearer, all sorts of worries also drew closer. Will she drink milk without me? How will she sleep without Mohit to put her off? Will she watch too much TV? What if she wakes up in the middle of the night to find us missing and starts crying? Will one of us have to rush back home cutting the trip short? My stress levels were so high that I made sure I left all the things she loves in ample quantity at home. A bag full of sausages, a new game, lots of gems, some lollipops and a play date with her best friend. Planned a lot, worried even more. I made sure both the days she was left behind would be busy for her so she slept peacefully without troubling her grand mom.

Umpteen anonymous calls later, I was told she was absolutely fine and completely enjoying herself. I settled into my trip as the busy schedule left me with little time to worry. Between managing the six month old to live reporting till the wee hours, I was forced to go with the flow. I missed her and ached to talk to her. But feared she might miss me if I spoke on the phone to her. Even when I slept I dreamt that she had got hurt or was unwell.

At the end of the 60 hours that we spent apart, I was so proud of my little baby. I felt she had grown up hurriedly and had been so co-operative. This trip was very important for my website and I wanted to make it happen for myself. But I didn't want to do anything at the expense of my daughter's happiness. But finally, we had managed to do it all. Do two days of awesome coverage, have a good poker exposure and also ensure Navya's happiness; thanks to her grand mom's love and support.

Even as we walked back from our trip to the house, Navya hugged Myra first, her Dad next and Me at the last. This only meant that my baby was hardly a little baby now. She was grown up. She had stayed without her mom for 3 days and not complained at all. She had done the inevitable. She had done something i shuddered to even think let alone implement. She had in fact implemented it so well that I felt unwanted. I felt I was so unimportant that my daughter didn't even miss me. Aren't we mommies mad?

Navya had finally cut the umbilical cord. I ached for this for so long but was too afraid to experiment. Little did I know that life has its own pace and things come to on their own. My little baby: I am so proud of you! i now know that this is an omen that my baby is ready to face the world and go out to big school and that brighter things are in store for me professionally.