The Great Gurgaon Admission Tamasha Part 1

Two years back when I was in Delhi, a few of my friends went through the Delhi Nursery Admission trauma for almost six months. Running from south to west Delhi, from one school to another , collecting and submitting forms and getting nervous breakdowns in the process. I heard people's stories where they applied in 20 schools, paid thousands in registration fees and their kids got through no school leading to doctor visits for many parents.

When I moved to Gurgaon, I thought I would never face such a situation. Gurgaon, according to me had a lot of very good schools and had more organised parents who wouldn't add to this confusion. But I have been proved wrong as I search for a good school for my daughter who starts Nursery next year.

Decisions galore and a plethora of confusion. Spoilt for options, that's what Gurgaon is. Before August 2014, I didn't know the following:

1. There are around 20 schools in Gurgaon all of which can be ranked No 2 after TSRS on some criterion or the other.
2. There is a board called IB.
3. There are around 5 IB Schools in Gurgaon.
4. Admissions for next session start the previous year in August. I was almost woken up from sleep on a holiday by a friend to tell me that some have even reached last dates.
5. Schools use the lottery system to choose students. Now you know how important a kundli and luck is.
6. Some schools use First Come first serve Basis for admissions and witness similar night time queues as the Apple stores before the launch of a new iPhone.
7. Any businessman can have a school in his name.
8. Everyone wants their kids to go to TSRS. But will not admit it.
9. Everyone in your child's pre-school would've visited atleast 10 schools, met 5 principals and filled all forms.
10. The younger the school, the more sought after it is. This I discovered when I tried to submit the forms of a school which has a building till Class V and opened doors only in 2012. They refused to take my form one day late. And continue to stick to their stance saying they have too many applicants.
11. All Schools will take out their results and close admissions on the day TSRS forms come out.
12. All parents are paranoid.
13. There is an immensely popular and active Facebook group by the name of Gurgaon Admissions where parents share admissions information.
14. Admissions to pre-nursery in big schools also difficult. I thought only getting into nursery was tough. Little did I know that the action starts before they turn two.
15. Being born in October is a curse. So plan your baby according to the 30th Sept deadline.

It is a mad, mad world. After 10 days of collecting forms, filling them, getting passport size pictures clicked, making photocopies of umpteen documents and forcing the husband to take an off to visit schools; My score of form submission is only 1. And if my facts are correct, from the 10 Gurgaon schools I initially planned to apply in 3 have already closed their doors for me.

I am naming this post 1 since I know I will write many in this series. I love to mock my craziness and also chronicle the enthusiasm of those hundreds of parents who are running from pillar to post.

Never too big for Friendship Day

I remember gifting my best friend a friendship band. Even buying itsy bitsy friendship quotation books. Also going to parties on the Friendship Day Sunday. Sometimes even giving 'n' number of gifts as the date on which the august holiday fell. And Always waiting up till midnight and ushering in the event with a call to my best friend. All this till I was 18. Perhaps 20.

Then Friendship Day became a morning phone call and an evening coffee with all my besties. Slowly the phone call became an SMS and the customary coffee with a select few friends. Ultimately it was just a meeting with the best friend only.

Then everyone got married and had husbands and Valentines Day and babies and Mother's Day. So life got lost and so did Friendship Day. It became an all too kiddish affair. From the SMS and the coffee, it had now come down to an SMS at the end of the day. Sometimes an SMS/Call the next day to only the one BFF with sarcasm on how she had missed it yesterday.

That's what life becomes. We forget these small, special occasions and mark them as smart marketing activities by Archies, Hallmark and the like. But inside us somewhere, we want still to relive those teenage moments where friends were 'oh-so-very-important' and being the first to wish your best friend a happy friendship day was absolutely necessary.

Now my best friend is busy so are my other friends. So am I. We are all too caught up in our families and jobs and societies that we want to give importance to these occasions but try to act big by pretending they don't matter to us. Why did they matter 10 years back? Because we had all the time in the world. In fact, our friends were the world. Before husband and kids took precedence. Friends still are loved but last on the priority list of showing the emotion.

I am no better in calling or even saying 'hello' to my friends on the friendship day Sunday. Sometimes even making the excuse of the family Sunday bit for not calling. But I value them more often now than I did before. I miss their useless advise, their non-sensible chatter, their childish abuses, their crazy excitement and their lovable mentoring.

And today I am thinking of you all. It is midnight and I wish I could pick up the phone to call up atleast a few of you girls and say what a part of me you are. And that I am thinking of you.

To Sumedha: For you are and will always be my best friend.
To Vandana, Suparna, Shweta, Vasudha, Ruchi, Priyanka: You made school the most memorable days of my life:
To Gunjan, Simran, Rakshit, Anshoo, Ankita: You guys made college days fun and Delhi feel like home.
To Shikha, Neha, Anika and Ritika: You girls make me miss Ludhiana like never before.
To Shruti, Nidhi, Bhavna, Sugandh, Pooja, Megha: You filled the spaces when married life was elusive.
And above all to my sister Niti: I never knew you as a friend till I got married. And that is when I realised how good a friend an elder sister can be.

Call me, my friends. I am waiting for that Friendship day call.

P.S. hubby, you are my best male friend...Don't ever forget that....

That big word that starts with R

The last few months have just gone past in a hurry. It seems the words from the song 'Rush, Rush' were coined for new mommies only. Because rushed up is what life has become ever since second bub arrived. From the minute I wake up to the time my head hits the pillow at night, everything is committed in a rush.

Now I don't need an alarm. Myra is my alarm, she wakes me up in the morning and I jump to her cot to pick her up so the husband and Navya don't wake up. And that's when the morning rush starts. From early morning feeds to diaper change to milk for the elder bub to getting her dressed for school to handling the husband's breakfast, life rushes from one task to another. Morning turns to afternoon and afternoons to evenings. And before I know it, the day has rushed into the night.

As it strikes 10 at night and both the kids are in bed and I am assured that none will wake up in the next two hours is when I feel my day has just come alive. I feel I want to live everything in these two hours before I go to sleep and the morning charade starts. I want to watch TV, finish my work assignments, spend time with the husband, talk on the phone and do everything else that the day evaded me during this time. Do everything before Responsibility strikes again.

Once after a very busy Sunday, made more miserable by a cranky baby on a saturday night; Mohit wished to rest and take a nap. It was decided that only one of us could sleep since the other had to be with the babies. It was decided he go off since 'he is just a man' while I am super mom.

Responsibility and loads of it more has also come with the two girls. After people raise eye brows at the mention of my second child being a girl too, I sometimes get 'responsibility pangs'. These make me look for everything from life insurance for the parents, mediclaim for the family, bank accounts for the kids, FD's and other investments in their names etc...etc...etc...these pangs sometimes even extend into tears imagining their weddings and them going off to someone else's house. Such is the load that life feels with us becoming two time parents now.

RESPONSIBILITY in all caps is what is the norm of the day. Responsibility to make sure the kids are fed, dressed, happy, playing and healthy. Responsibility that sometimes leads to anxiety that two such tiny souls are so dependent on me. Responsibility that means I cannot fall sick, even catch a cold. Responsibility that means my ears and eyes are trained enough to hear that small sniff or see that red mosquito bite.

Responsibility that I bring up these two young ladies into smart and intelligent world citizens. And that is something I cannot do in a rush. So that is when sometimes I tell myself 'slow down, woman'. Whoever said 'a happy mom makes for a happy kid' wasn't kidding at all. And on days when I am happy my kids definitely are a happy lot too. So I have made myself responsible for my own happiness today. There is no one in the world that can make me happy but myself and I have resolved to be 'responsibly happy. After all, if Super mom is happy then the whole household is happy too!!!!

Sharing the key to your heart!

In latest news, happy to announce the arrival of the bub, a baby girl, Myra into our household. She now completes the circle of females in the husbands life. From his mom to his wife to his sisters to his two daughters; he now only has females as his closest relatives. What a lucky man!

Myra now also elevates to the spot of Mohit's favorite girls pushing me further back in the line. I call it a line now since there are 2 girls who are way ahead of me in the race to touch his heart. Ever since Navya walked into our lives, I was the second woman while she royally ruled Papa's life. Now there is a second young lady who has him around her little finger while I coyly sit back and occupy the place of the third lady.

I now share the key to his heart with 2 little girls who are miles ahead of me in the way they can manipulate him. Even though I get to hear the 'I Love you' everyday but I know where it is being expressed more. While I had a problem playing second fiddle when Navya handled Mohit, now I have decided to take the back seat. I have reconciled to the fact that the husband is now a full time father. Now I am happy being the third lady behind Navya and Myra and content as he manages to hold my hand despite having both of them in his lap at the same time. It is good to share, I always preach to Navya. And today I have shared my most prized possession with my two fairies....On second thoughts, the girls are nice to me letting me still share their space with their Papa. 

Kudos to you, Husband! You are doing a good job juggling your girls!