The Curious Case of 13 STEMBER!

There are some childhood stories that never fade away—they just grow sweeter with time. One such story from my life is how I could never pronounce September. For beginners I am born on 13th September, as a talkative kid I used to proudly declare to anyone who asked that I was born on “13 Stember.” Of course, my little tongue couldn’t get around the word, and the whole family would burst into laughter every time I announced it. Even today, ask anyone in my family what my favorite childhood word was and they’ll say: ‘Stember'. Kaju Barfi being a close second! 

Even now, decades later, “Stember” is a family joke that never gets old. At weddings, festivals, or just over chai, someone or the other will say, “Arrey, our 13 Stember girl!” and the entire room erupts in laughter. My cousins would tease me endlessly—sometimes even making up fake months just to see how I’d try to pronounce them. My parents, instead of correcting me, lovingly let the joke live on. And now, it’s one of those stories that feels like a family heirloom—handed down with joy and affection.

As a child, I was the classic second daughter in a traditional Indian household—mischievous, endlessly talkative, and forever up to some prank or another. I was that kid who couldn’t sit still, who had a story ready for every occasion, and who somehow always managed to get away with trouble thanks to my chatter and charm. 

I didn’t just tell stories, I performed them—with sound effects, hand gestures, and an audience that had no choice but to listen. From my mota moti joke to my toota hua gate riddles, I was the kid who didn’t just talk to people—I’d talk to walls, toys, and sometimes even plants. Someone had to listen! 

Now, as I stand on the edge of turning 45, I look back and laugh at how some things never change. I may not mispronounce September anymore, but the mischief, the love for storytelling, and the childlike energy are still very much alive in me. My family still teases me that I was a free entertainment package before TVs got remote controls. Well, I'm still one without any such controls! I proudly proclaim to my cards group(of course I have one, doesn't everyone?) that I am more than just teen patti- I am the entertain they don't give royalty for!

Over the years, life has been a mix of adventures and lessons—school days filled with laughter, the ups and downs of growing up, building a family of my own, and watching my daughters grow into their unique selves. Each phase has added a layer to who I am, but the core remains that same spirited “Stember girl.”

Most of all, I feel grateful. Grateful for parents who nurtured me, for siblings who joined in the laughter, for my husband who has been my partner in every adventure, and for my daughters who keep me young at heart. My family has been the constant thread of love and support that makes every birthday feel like a celebration of us, not just me. So indebted to my roots- My Khemka and Aggarwal Family who lovingly message me on 1st September- STEMBER is here! No one has forgotten that and more! I am blessed and loved and forever in debt!

So this week, as I turn 45, I raise a toast to all the laughter-filled stories, the quirky childhood memories, and the incredible family who has stood by me. Because in the end, whether it’s 13 September or 13 Stember, the date only matters because of the people who make it special. To my family—thank you for letting me be loud, mischievous, curious, and completely myself. You gave me wings when the world only handed out labels.

Here’s to staying mischievous, staying talkative, and staying forever young at heart—even at 45!

Lets admit it- I was born in September, but honestly, Stember sounds way cooler!

Mortals go for Coldplay, Legends go to the Mahakumbh!

They say, when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true! 

And that is what happened with us! Within 4 days of the thought coming to mind, the determination became stronger and the stars got us there!

The Mahakumbh at Prayagraj is a confluence of faith, spirituality, and a sense of belonging that one cannot truly comprehend without experiencing it firsthand. As someone who had always heard of its grandeur through stories, documentaries, and folklore, I finally decided to attend this once-in-a-lifetime event.

Planning the trip was not without its challenges, but help came when we needed it most. A family member, almost like a godsend, stepped in to help with booking the train tickets and accommodation. We had been struggling to figure it all out, but their guidance made everything smooth. The train we boarded, which had been notorious for running late, surprisingly ran on time that day, almost as if the universe had aligned to make the journey seamless. To add to the serendipity, the accommodation we found was available only for that particular night, fitting the schedule perfectly.

The Vande Bharat takes you from New Delhi station to Prayagraj where the ultimate in holiness unfolds for Hindus. The city well known for the confluence of the 3 rivers - Ganga, Yamuna and the mystical Saraswati is a bustling one. Add to that the lure of the Mahakumbh and multiply it with the extreme Bhakti of Hindus worldwide and you have lakhs thronging all over.

Arriving at the venue of our accommodation, we were greeted by the sight of sprawling camps and beautifully organized accommodation areas. Our tents at the ISCKON camp in tent city were impeccably clean, comfortable, equipped with all the basic amenities one would need for a pleasant stay. It was heartening to see how the authorities had meticulously planned for the comfort of millions of visitors without compromising on cleanliness or order. The hospitality and affection of all the ISKCON volunteers was immaculate and praise worthy.

The highlight of my trip, of course, was taking the holy dip in the Triveni Sangam—the sacred confluence of the Ganga, Yamuna, and the mystical Saraswati rivers. As we walked toward the Sangam Ghat, the chants of "Har Har Gange" filled the air, and an overwhelming sense of peace washed over. The arrangements at the ghats were remarkable. Volunteers ensured a smooth flow of people, and the cleanliness was noteworthy, given the sheer scale of the gathering. We took a boat from the Ghats to the Triveni Sangam to reach the point where the 3 rivers meet. It was like a floating deck created for the holy dip during the Kumbh but well equipped with changing rooms and all possible safety measures. 

From the train station at Praygraj to the sprawling tent city to the multiple bhandara pandals to the Sangam Ghat, the noise of horns blaring, the chants of Sadhus , the lakhs of people speaking at the same time, the loud speakers announcing lost and found doesn't leave you alone. But the moment you enter the icy cold holy  waters, you are left with yourself. 

As I stepped in the arms of the Triveni, time seemed to pause. The holy dip was not just a physical act but a deeply spiritual experience. It felt as though the water carried away not just the dirt of my body but also the burdens of my soul. Standing amidst thousands of devotees, each immersed in their own prayers and meditations, I felt a profound connection to something greater than myself. It was humbling, empowering, and incredibly moving all at once.

Apart from the spiritual experience, the Mahakumbh is also a feast for the senses. The sights of saffron-clad sadhus, the sound of conch shells, the aroma of prasad being distributed, and the colorful bazaars selling everything from rudraksha malas to sacred roli—it was an explosion of culture and devotion. The bhandaras serving food were incredible, offering delicious meals to everyone for free. One day, after enjoying a hearty meal at a bhandara, we even stumbled upon a Domino's food counter—a pleasant surprise amidst the spiritual fervor! The combination of spirituality and organization at such a massive scale was truly awe-inspiring.

As our journey came to an end, I felt a deep sense of gratitude—for the opportunity to be part of this grand spectacle, for the seamless arrangements that made the experience so smooth, and for the spiritual solace I found in the waters of the Sangam. Highly indebted to my uncle who made it possible for us and a huge shout out for the authorities who've made this possible for crores of Indians. The unsung heroes for me were the thousand of policemen, health workers, CRPF, NCC and all volunteers working tirelessly for the cause. From helping with navigation at 10 pm to the right location to sweeping the city clean at 6 am, the ecosystem cannot work without them.

The Mahakumbh is not just an event; it is a celebration of faith and humanity, a reminder of the enduring power of tradition and spirituality. If you ever get a chance to attend, I urge you to go. It’s an experience that stays with you long after you’ve left the riverbank, etched into your soul forever.

Adding some Dos and don'ts for those planning their Maha Kumbh Experience-

1. Book Train Tickets in advance as airfares are soaring high.

2. Please go with confirmed accommodation.

3. Carry face masks if staying in the tent city as it can be dusty.

4. Try to carry backpacks and not suitcases as you might have to haul them over kilometres. 

5. Carry comfortable walking shoes and be prepared to walk atleast 15k steps a day.

6. Most Shivirs/Akharas have food but go prepared with snacks.

7. Most E-rickshaws were not accepting digital payments so make sure you carry multiple currency notes of all denominations.

8. Males can buy and throw swim wear/underpants for their dip at the ghats.

9. Carry all toiletries and sun screen as the sun is mighty and warm.

10. Elderly should be accompanied by a young person willing to carry their stuff and be prepared to walk.

11. Pls steer clear of babas on the roads asking for alms in exchange for blessings.

12. Get your haggling instinct out for negotiations with rickshaw pullers.

13. To avoid the morning rush, visit around 3 pm. Boats stop plying after 445 pm.

P.S The Title is just to grab eyeballs and virality. I have full respect for everyone who went for Coldplay. 

From Looking Up to Looking Down: How Kids Grow, and Parents Shrink!

 

There comes a moment in every parent's life when they realize their kids are no longer the tiny toddlers they once cradled in their arms. It sneaks up on you—one day, you're reaching down to hold their hands, and before you know it, you're craning your neck to meet their gaze. For me, this realization hit hard last year. As 2024 progressed, one of the marked achievements of the year was Me, the Mom Boss in the family being officially declared the shortest member of the family. I've had to accept that I'm no longer the towering authority figure I once was, at least in height. Instead, I find myself quite literally looking up to them, both physically and emotionally.

Growing up in the 80's I always thought that I was in the higher percentile of heights in my generation. I am 162 cms and I pride myself on being the taller ones from Gen X. But enter Gen Alpha where people about 160 cm are also considered short. Now everyone is averaging around 170 cm which makes 160+ seem slightly dwarfy. The first realisation of being short happened when my 14 year old started towering over me 2 years back. I was not able to hug her chest to chest, my head could easily curl up on her shoulder. Enter 2024 and the younger one started pulling up. Till now I felt I still had my little one to hug, hold and bully since she was the shortest. By summers, she was as tall as me. That is when the race began. The race to not being the shortest in the family. Of course, the husband was never in the race. It was a 2 player battle now! Myra would check her height weekly and soon I was officially declared the shortest. 

It started subtly over the years—the time she reached my shoulder height, I chuckled and thought it was cute. But soon enough, she was at eye level. I would stand on tiptoes or wear heels in family photos to avoid looking like the shortest. The day my youngest officially surpassed my height was both amusing and emotional.  And that's when they coined a name for me. I was 'CHOTU' now. And will continue to stay the same forever. Since there is no way I can gain anything now, only inches and kgs nothing on the height scale is moving for me. 

Height isn't just a number; it symbolizes the passage of time. Watching your kids grow taller than you is a tangible reminder of how fast they’re growing up. It’s a bittersweet milestone that marks their journey toward independence and adulthood. And while it can be a little humbling to realize you're no longer the biggest in the family, it's also incredibly rewarding to see them grow into confident, capable individuals.

Being the 'Chotu' in the family has also given me a new perspective on parenting. It’s a reminder that authority and respect aren’t about size. It’s about the bond we share, the lessons we teach, and the love we give. I may be the shortest now, but in their eyes, I’ll always be their parent—the one who stood tall for them when they needed it the most.

Sure, there are practical challenges to being the shortest in the family—like struggling to reach the top shelf or having to ask my kids to grab things for me. But there’s also humor and joy in these moments.  What earlier felt like a shy moment to ask them to reach out to the top shelves of the kitchen is now a moment of pride for me. And while they're lazy to do any chores in the house, they love to grab things that are out of my reach. I get patted on the head and joked, 'Oh, Chotu can't reach there!'

As I look up to my kids now, I realize that I’m proud of the people they’re becoming. And while I may have shrunk in comparison, my love for them continues to grow. After all, parenting isn’t about who stands the tallest—it’s about who stands by your side, no matter what. and this CHOTU is here to stay, no matter what!

Gulmarg: The Snow Queen, without its crown!

I last visited Kashmir as a child with my parents when I was 8. 35 years later, with an increased vigour in me to catch the falling snow, I decided to plan a short trip to Gulmarg. Elaborate itineraries, over priced hotel rooms, Gulmarg Gandola bookings- everything was planned under the wraps. SHHHHH...I wanted to surprise the husband by taking him to the airport and telling him we're going to watch the falling snow as a pre-birthday trip. Whilst I planned and did all the bookings, I kept an eye on the Winter and Snow casts of Gulmarg and the area. Some said 9th January will see a decent flurry. I was happy and all set by Christmas.

As the year turned into 24, my two reliable weather-mans Navdeep and Shubham had already started talking about the lack of snow in the hills. I started probing more to understand if I was going to get my money's worth or no. Hours of research on accuweather and JKSki apps and inputs of the weatherman's suggested that my trip was not going to witness any fresh snow. I cajoled myself hoping that the last month's snow would be enough. Then the news articles and media coverage showing pictures of a dry and distraught Gulmarg started emerging. That is when I broke the news to the husband and asked him to take the call on cancellation . Being the baniya that he is, he was not going to let any money go waste on cancellations, so we decided to go ahead. 

We landed in sunny conditions crossing the snowcapped mountains and hoped for the clouds to open their heart out to us. We layered up well as we started moving up the mountains to reach Tangmarg. The hill side from where one needed snow chained vehicles was now seeing regular sedans also climbing it. We reached Gulmarg with the sun shining bright , blue skies looking down at us. The wind was chilled and it was super cold but no sign of snow. 

The Dhabas in the market were empty. The prevalent snow on the slopes was turning to ice and was slippery. There was neither the lush green that one sees in the Summers nor the  powdery white that is seen in Winters. There was a light brown shade all around. The locals were hungry for tourists and snow because one led to another and vice versa. There was some snow as we went up the Gulmarg Gandola. Both the phases had some amount of snow but nothing that satiated the hunger of a tourist seeking falling snow. A maximum of 1 feet of snow at some places where one pretended to ski or sledge for the instagram reels. 

But the views from the top of Pir Panjal! WOW! The Chinar and pine trees that dot the landscape. A topography I have never seen. The valley is beautiful beyond words. I assume that with snow across Gulmarg the hill town has another charm. But even without snow, the valley outclassed all sights I had ever seen. The might of the hills, the serenity of the valley and the calmness of the cottages, I fell in love with Gulmarg. It might not have been the preferred colors of green or white. I fell in love with the brown Gulmarg also. 

The city needs tourists as 90% of its revenue comes from tourism. One can only enjoy the charm and warmth of the city and its people once you go there. The grandeur and the majesticity of Gulmarg can only be enjoyed with your own eyes! No photos can do any justice!

A queen without its crown is still a queen!

Gulmarg without its white is still the Snow Queen of Kashmir!

The Year That was! The year that will be!

 

As the saying goes, " Time flies when it is good." I assume 2023 has been a good year and thats why it has whizzed past me. I was trying to list down what the year gave me and i have penned down the below. 

My gains from 2023 are-

1. I completed my 40 countries. This was a huge boost for me, I needed to do this for myself.
2. I read 10 books. I know it's a very small number. But i had absolutely stopped reading after my kids were born. So i set myself a small target of 10 books to start with. I even read a few self help and business management books.
3. I started saying NO. I said no to a few things this year. I am still not there, but i am on my way.
4. I started saying YES. I started accepting myself as I am. I started loving myself as I am. 
5. I now have a skin routine before bedtime and I am elated I started it.
6. I read the Bhagwad Gita.
7. I saw falling snow with my kids and spouse.
8. I started investing wisely. I managed my own investment portfolio and enjoyed doing it.

My pains from 2023 are-

1. I continue to let people find faults in my choices. 
2. I wanted to cut sugar from my life but I am too sweet to do it.
3. I should've worked more and with extra passion which I didn't.
4. I was not charitable at all.
5. I fell sick too often with viral.
6. I didn't visit Kedarnath like I intended to.
7. I didn't appreciate my spouse and kids as much as I should've.

What I want to do in 2024-

1. See atleast 1 wonder of the world.
2. Visit Kedarnath or Vaishno Devi Temple.
3. Spend quality time with the kids and spouse.
4. Reduce screen(mobile) to not more than 30 minutes post work.
5. Cut down on sugar and alcohol.
6. Take a holiday without any guilt.
7. Increase my investment portfolio by 2X
8. Visit a Dark Sky Reserve and see the Milky Way.
9. Watch more live plays than movies in theatres. 
10. Eat before sunset atleast 3 times a week.
11. Learn to Meditate.
12. Say I Love You and I am thankful.

I don't know why all my to-do's start with travel and end with being mindful. Maybe that is what is the purpose of my life. I was intended to be a nomad but I realised I couldn't survive alone. I was supposed to be a traveller, but i can't do it as a loner. I hope I am able to keep my 2024 goals alive. I am not pledging to lose weight(though i should). I have simple wants and I am going to fulfil them in my simple way. 

2023- You've been kind!

2024- Pls be kinder and happier!

Rupal

An Year of Chaos, Calamity & Credit

Yes, November is too early to be summing up the year gone by. So that's not what you're about to read. This is about my 40th year gone by! A year that I had hyped and anticipated half a decade ago to be the 'best time of my life'. It was anything but...

2020 was chaotic with the calamity of Covid hitting everyone hard. I entered my 40th, 3 shy of my travel target and hoping that I will still succeed in the next 12 months before I turn 41. But life always has its own plans. A month long engagement with Covid in April/May taught me to slow down and give credit to what is there. Covid hit me hard with my entire family bearing the brunt. We all fell like domino's once the husband started showing symptoms on April 20th. The younger one's birthday on 8th May was spent quietly at home as we nursed each other. High fever, aches and pains, multiple doctor prescriptions, struggle to find medications, stress of SPO2, sleepless nights on one side and home cooked food by family, oxygen cans from friends, cakes, gifts, cards, umpteen calls and messages on another! The latter prevailed for us and we survived as a family and a unit! 

In those days of suffering, in a drugged state one night, I pledged to give up alcohol. It was one of those weak moments where I felt I was a goner and had an awakening. I have kept my promise so far and not touched anything boozy ever since. I hope I let my liver gain its health back before I succumb to the social pressure. BTW, it does feel good not having a hangover after a late night of party!

My child hood bestie moved closer to home and suddenly Gurugram(with all its dust clouds) became brighter. In other news, I had my second rebirth of 2021(first was post covid) when I found myself stuck in another natural calamity. This time it was the Uttarakhand floods when me and my family found ourselves holidaying in an area which had landslides after incessant rains. I re-affirmed my pledge towards giving up alcohol in bargain for my family's life. Well, we did get back safely after a week long adventure and learnings. 

To sum this up, I am because of You. Each one of you who is reading this now has contributed to me surviving the harshness of the year. Each one of you who has kept me and my family in your prayers when we had covid- this is a late but big gratitude letter to you. The credit of bringing smiles and good health back belongs to you. All of you, known or unknown, made the chaos seem charismatic once it was over. The calamity has brought me closer to so many of you out there. It's given life lessons that made me weep and friends who are for keeps!

And now, While Johnny may not walk and Gin may not hit the rock for sometime, life will go on...

It may be too early or too financially stressful but here is to a new target in life

Century before 50?

P.S Did I forget to mention that I visited Goa twice this year? 

Innocent by birth, Rotten with age!

When Navya first got bitten by the competition bug, I had no clue how to handle. it Her fascination with 'Coming First' in everything took me by surprise. It was something we had never discussed in the house, leave alone making her competitive to come first. But she wanted to come first in reaching the school bus stop, in finishing her meals, in racing back home from the bus stop and in playing with the neighbourhood kids in the evening. The only things she seemed to miss in this new excitement was finishing milk first. Nevertheless, a lot of tears and heartbreaks would ensue when she didn't reach the bus stop the first and some one else was already there. More cranky words when she came second while running back from the bus stop to home. Even more irritation when she wouldn't come first in the games her peer circle played in the evenings.

While I struggled to explain and handle the situation, I was beaten to the finish line by another 4 year old. Where my hours of cajoling and counselling didn't find a solution, it was Navya's best friend and our next door neighbour who found a solution. The always gentle Somil,  apparently didn't like how his friend cried each time he ran faster from their bus stop to our house. His first and obvious solution was 'slowing down'. They would both start running from the bus stop and then he would slow down in the middle so Navya overtakes him. That didn't help. My not so athletic delicate darling was quite a slow runner.

Somil innovated more. He combined his slowing down with cheering for her. This became a combined cheering session where all the parents and kids would cheer aloud for Navya to run faster. That worked for a few days but even this model couldn't be sustained for too long. Then one day, as these kids got off the bus and handed over their bags to their respective moms, I saw Somil stretch his hand out to Navya. Navya held it and Somil said, 'Lets go, Navya.' The two kids ran holding hands till the house. Lots of smiles, high fives and excitement. I almost chocked at what Somil had done. I had to hide my emotions at what that little man had done for his friend. Upon reaching home, Somil declared, " Navya First!" to this Navya reverted, "Nahi, Somil, HUM First!"

2 weeks of confusion solved in a moment by a 4 year old. Now they run holding hands everyday back home and I couldn't contain myself from asking Somil why he did this. "I cannot see her crying. If coming first is what she wants, then we both can come first like this." Innocence leading to such Innovation! Kudos to these kids who teach us a lesson or two in life each day.

Teary Eyed
R

Ctrl-App-Delete-Time to Look Up!

Ever too often in the recent past I have seen the 'Look up' videos. It highlights a campaign which aims at minimizing the time spent with technology and admiring the real world. For me, it meant spending more time with the kids. After I saw the 'Look up' videos, I started taking note of the times my kids had to nudge me to life to get mine or the husband's attention. And it was always! Each time either of the kids came to us for something, both of us were staring at our phones. Most of the times it was a game for me and Twitter for Mohit. We both complained of the iPhone's draining battery. No one told us we use it too often that we drain the damn thing of its life.

So to take control of my life, stop to smell the flowers, hug the kids and kiss the Mr., I have decided to do an experiment with myself. Each Saturday morning, I will delete an application from my smart phone. This will go on week after week until I delete all 45(just counted) of them from my life. Today is the first day and I didn't choose the app. Yes, that is another strict test that I am subjecting myself to. I asked my kids to randomly select an app on my phone and I deleted it. Today was the turn of the Times of India(TOI) app. It is gone! Now i am down to 44 apps.

On an average I was perhaps opening the TOI app 4 times during a day. Mostly while in the loo. And mostly reading random, crazy news or surfing stupid fashion pictures. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! But a lot of time wasted perhaps. After all, a TOI app isn't the only way to stay updated with the world's news. In fact, even if I am not updated about the latest volcanic eruption in Iceland then how does it matter? Would I miss the volcano news for the first time my 15 month old calls me 'Mama'. You bet your boots!

This is the first week and an easy app is out of my life. The coming 44 weeks might mean deleting Facebook and Twitter which if left to me would be the last to go. That is the reason I left the option to the kids. It is them who deserve to pluck the culprits who are eating away the mummy's precious time. After all, the kids grow up only once. Apps come and go!

I am learning! I suggest each one of us does something to 'Look up, Take notice and Live!

Life's simple lessons are learnt Patiently and Silently

Six Months back I bought Navya a BSA Dora Bicycle. I saved Rs. 1000 on the MRP by buying it from the Sadar Bazar and was fairly proud of that fact. The cycle lay around in the ground floor storage for a little while till I decided to teach Navya how to ride it. Now riding is simple but cycling isn't. She did ride it instantly. Priding herself with her prized Dora bike but she didn't believe in pedaling the cycle into movement. On the few occasions that I cajoled her into pedaling the vehicle, she managed a semi-circle of leg movement which led to the cycle moving a few feet and then stopping.

For a week, I took her out on the road in front of my house trying to teach her how to pedal a full circle and thus create motion for the bike. Navya just didn't get it! She would do a semi circle with her legs, then rotate them back and do another semi-circle and so on. The cycle continued to move but definitely in the wrong way. Soon like the weather, I also started losing my cool. After umpteen lectures, some shouting and threats and an occasional smack; I thought something was seriously wrong with either the bike or with Navya's reflexes. I threatened her with the obvious- The cycle goes back! Voila, she was riding it in a flash. and it had taken 14 or more frustrating days full of anger and disgust for me. So much for being a good mother.

Flash Forward down two months and the neighbours also buy their son(Navya's classmate and friend) a similar cycle with one of those boyish idols. Pokemon or Ben 10 or something, not sure! Anyhow, the father took the responsibility of teaching the son how to cycle. Every evening he got him out on the same road, moved the cycle's pedals in 360 degrees umpteen times and showed him how motion is created. But still the child rode like Navya did in the beginning. Semi circles and then back rotation. He also refused to move the pedals in a complete circle. I understood then that this is how human body works. A child will take his own sweet time understanding this type of new motion.

For days, my neighbour patiently and quietly went with his son on the road riding to and fro many times. Not losing his cool when the kid didn't complete the cyclic motion and kept making semi-circles. Day after day, the father-son could be seen repeating this activity. The father event moved the pedals in circles and ran with the child as motion was created. He did this for days together, running, moving the pedals and teaching. Today, after more than 3 weeks, the boy finally cycled a complete circle. The whole street rejoiced and clapped. The father jumped up in joy. He clapped, he sighed, he held his hands up in relief, he kissed his son. But he made no noise just like he hadn't done in these past weeks while patiently teaching him to cycle.

My neighbour has a hearing and speaking disorder and he cannot talk to his son. But he still taught his son patiently all this while. I, who can talk, hear and do much more resorted to everything but patience to teach Navya. Sometimes the simplest lessons in life are learnt in silence. Sometimes the simplest things in life are taken for granted. Note to Self: Count your blessings! Kudos to the patient father who understands the child better than us mere mortals!

10 Reasons why Daughters are better than Husbands

Daughters are a blessing, we all know that! But have you ever noticed how good daughters are for your ego? Have you ever realised how good daughters make you feel? Rather have you ever seen how much better they are than your husbands. Navya, in the recent past has made me spell out some reasons why daughters are better than your husbands.

1. They Notice, they Compliment: Unlike blindfolded husbands, daughters take notice when you wear a new dress or get a haircut. And they don;t stop there, they even compliment.
2. Love to talk to you: Daughters can go on talking to you endlessly. They listen to you, love to hear you talk and share things to the final details. Unlike 'youknowwho'.
3. Say Sorry: Daughters say sorry when their mommies are hurt by them unlike their 'feel nothing, turn to stone' fathers. They apologize, complete with the ear holding and sit ups etc.
4. Hug you and Kiss you: hugs and kisses are never rationed when you have daughters. They want to hug you when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are cooking and even when you are in the toilet. Bear hugs and wet kisses are a present daughters come with each day.
5. Ogle at you when you dress up: If you need an audience and your own personal admiration choir, then get a daughter. When putting on make up, little girls are completely in awe of you. They look at you with delectable pride when mothers are putting on make up and getting ready and the blizzard of compliments start even before the task is complete.
6. Say I Love you a dozen times: While hubby dear things the 3 magical words are 'Pass the Remote' or 'Chicken for dinner', daughters know that 'I Love you' a dozen times a day is the magic portion to get the groove going. 
7. Hold hands while sleeping: While the husband steers clear of the hand while sleeping, your daughter will hold it long enough for you to get tired. Hold hands, hug tightly and sleep is the order for the night with tiny girls.
8. Shares the Remote: While the remote is the 'remote' property of the husband, daughters are different. They will share the remote control for TV's with their moms and don't assert that their bosses in the living room.
9. Looks at you when talking: Daughters stare in your eyes dreamily when talking to you and not at a screen. Your little girls are always awestruck by you and always look at you when you speak unlike your 'man' who prefers to look at a screen than you.
10. Has the household weaved around her little finger: Last but not the least, these little angels hold the key to the household. They have daddy around their tiny finger and have remote controlled access over him. They can make anyone do anything they want to. Especially make the daddies dance to their tune.

Dedicated to my Two Little Girls....

R

Life's musings, Life's emotions...

Once upon a time not very long back a young lady had walked into our lives. We stayed in Punjabi bagh that time. Navya was barely 9 months. I was struggling with housework, the baby and an upcoming move to Gurgaon. At this busy phase in life, she joined my house as domestic help and made our lives as easy as any human can. She was a cook, she was a cleaner, she was a baby sitter, she was the care giver, she was everything one household needs. She cooked yummy food for us, she looked after my daughter, she kept the whole place clean. There was nothing that this lady couldn't do. A lot of work and more work is what she did all through the day.

She was a great cook, she taught me how to make lachcha paranthas. She looked after Navya so well that sometimes people joked that my daughter was happier with her than me. She worked around the clock and never complained. But on some bad days, she only mused about how she was still single at 25 year old. I always humored her to forget getting married and enjoy her freedom. But she always said she wished to get married.

One day we all went to Udaipur and left her behind in the house. She was supposed to look after the house. She did keep the house up and about and safe those 3 days. When we came back, we realised she was in love with our driver. This wasn't going to be one of those cheap romances that dwell between domestic helps. We thought they would give up. They didn't. We moved to Gurgaon. Our driver and the domestic help also moved, still in love.

Once in Gurgaon, they decided to get married. We had no qualms as long as they both worked for us. They went to their village, got married and came back. She was even more efficient now. Getting married was one of her prime wishes and since that was fulfilled so she looked to life with a lot of hope. Soon she came to know that she was pregnant. She still continued to work with equal diligence. She worked with us for another six months after which she said she needed a break. We let her go with a heavy heart. Not because we would be short of help but because we would miss her. My daughter would miss her like crazy. When she left, Navya was a babbling baby who was learning to talk. My domestic help always told her to call her 'Didi' but Navya struggled with it. Ironically, a week after she left, Navya started saying 'Didi'.

3 months later, she called to say that she had had a baby boy and they were both healthy. We settled into our new house and she promised us that once her baby was one year old she would come back to work with us. We were keen on that arrangement since she was a hard worker. Another few months passed by and we forgot about her promise.

Then one day we decided to call the number that belonged to her brother to check on when she planned to be in the city. She always said she was a city girl and couldn't stay in her village for too long. So we thought let's enquire if she wants to come back and work with us. Her brother answered the phone and cried and told my mother in law that 'Meena' had died. She had used her dupatta to hang herself after a fight with her husband. She had died in a fit of rage and left her child behind.

None of us could digest this news. It was like a rude shock which jolted us. Yes, we had forgotten about her in our mundane lives but that didn't mean we didn't care. Apparently she had some differences with her husband(our driver) from the beginning which led to this impulse decision.

It took me many days to take down this bad piece of news. That female had spent almost 2 years in my house and had helped in every which way possible. The only way we had helped her was giving her a platform where she fell in love with the guy she married which eventually led to her demise. This didn't add up to much help at all actually. So how much of it was my fault, I thought. I had hired her. I had got her in my house. I had left her alone in the house to go to Udaipur. I had allowed her to follow her affair with my driver. I had let her marry that man. Thus, in a way I had made her life miserable enough to die. I am left confused with these thoughts. It has created so much fuss in my mind that after 6 months of her death I have finally reconciled to the fact that I didn't create a situation which led to her death. I created a situation which let her live her entire lifetime in those 2 years. She got married which was her main wish and even became a mother.

I don't know if I am saying this to let the guilt scrape off me or being positive is the way to go here. I am clueless. And this confusion is what has stopped me from writing about her for these 6 months. For some who read this, it might look trivial to share an experience of a mere domestic help on my blog. But only those whose lives she touched would understand what I mean.

R.I.P Meena. I always think of you when me make lachcha paranthas at home. 

My Facebook Status: Past, present and future

Just got a simple email from Facebook saying that its been seven years that I joined the social networking site. 7 is also the number of years I have been married. Anyhow, I decided to look into my facebook history and came upon something very interesting. A timeline of my facebook statuses. It made for such an interesting read that I decided to share them and also predict some of my statuses for times to come.

I have picked the top 3 statuses of each year to share and also written one top status update for the next 7 years.

Sept 2007: ....at home( Would you believe it? I actually made that status update)

Oct 2007: ....is very happy today. Mohit and Rupal have bought their first joint possession. Their Honda Civic Car. (Clap, Clap) People actually congratulated. Thanks, guys

Dec 2007: ....is totally hooked on to poker...(Story of my life, even one of the earlier statuses from my FB TL depics what has transpored in the past 7 years)...ufff

Mar 2008: ...is back from relaxing Langkawi to stressful Delhi(always ready to beat my travel trumpet)

May 2008: ....wants the good weather to stay(good weather in May, you must have lost it woman)

Aug 2008:....is wishing at least one of her friends calls instead of SMS on F-day.(something I still wish)

Apr 2009: ...is in IPL Mode( Once upon a time I was fond of cricket)

July 2009: ...is happy for her two bestest friends. Both with kiddies today. (And the kiddie brigade had arrived big time in our lives)

Sept 2009:...thinks Mohit is the best( And believes it firmly till date)

Apr 2010:...is there a way to husband lock the sports channels? (believe it or not, I know how to now)

May 2010:...A little birdie told me June is the month for baby showers( I dropped hints and finally even asked for one, but for nothing)

Oct 2010: Navya Bansal, the one that completes us(Not the official birth announcement of our first one, but def her name announcement)

May 2011:...My daughters Mothers day gift: 8 hours sleep( And the sleep woes continue till date)

July 2011:...times they are a changing. Rupal to 2 year old niece: What do you want for your bday? Savera: an iPad /massi.(the gadget boom is here to stay)

August 2011: Height of Annaism, Mohit wants to name daighter navya Anna Bansal(Seriously heights, he loved Anna then and hates Kejriwal now)

Feb 2012: is in blissland...Mommydum( how these Ludhiana trips have dried up)

July 2012: will be unavailable on phone or BBM for next 10 days, pls FB me( in other words, I am going to phoren land...)

Dec 2013: Moving houses twice, decorating 4500 sq feet of space, kids first(and hopefully last) fracture, little bro growing up to marry, scares over husbands injury, dealing with a second pregnancy! sprinkled with lots of happy and bad news!!!! 2012 was supposed to leave us extinct. But we are still there; breathing, existing , living ! 2013 , you better be full of happier times, healthier living and peaceful existence....(truly summed up a hectic year)

April 2013: I tell him: the baby is kicking very less today. He answers barely moving his gaze from the tv: aaj Sunday hain, baby ki chutti hain...(second baby around  the corner and the parents are so much more relaxed)

May 2013: that rare time of the day when both girls are sleeping. (now 2 angels to watch over me)

June 2013: Mohit, aaj khush to bahut ho...wife leaves today, namo starts tomo( and this marked the entry of narendra modi into our lives)

Jan 2014: I will go on dharna if my TL isnt freed of AAP and /bjp updates( this political misery is here to stay)

And now some FB update predictions

July 2015: is playing the WSOP Main event...Vegas, you bitch

Jan 2016: is watching Nadal lift the Australian Open trophy at Melbourne

Mar 2017: 10 years...n thx for the JAG dear husband.

An intt thread for FB. share yours if you have the time to write. I do have time to read.

The 14 point agenda for 2014

Its been almost 12 months that I made a huge list of resolutions. None have been followed and here I am staring at yet another year and ready to make some more resolutions. So this time I am keeping it simple. Making it easy for me to resolve and follow them through the year.

So here is my 14 point agenda for 2014:

1. Not scold my 8 month old when she wakes up at night. ----Relax----

2. Not fight with the husband because of not following No.1. ----Relax---

3. Remember to count my blessings at every step.----Relax. Breathe. Thank God---

4. Stop to smell the flowers and do No.3. ---Relax. Breathe----

5. Visit the spa/parlour atleast once a month.  ----Beautify----

6. Appreciate the husband more. ----Ishq wala Love----

7. Get medical checkups on a timely basis for the family. ---Apple a day----

8. Smile/Laugh atleast 25 times a day. ---Say Cheese----

9. Sleep by 11: 30 atleast 5 days in a week. ---ZZZZzzzzz---

10. Run the Delhi Half Marathon Finally. ---Bhaag Rupal Bhaag

11. Save money for the kids. ---Invest for education. 

12. Play atleast 2 live poker tournaments. ---Shuffle up and Deal.

13. Learn atleast one dance form. ----One-Two-cha-cha-cha

14. Write 300 words a day, on my poker site, on the blog or my personal journal. Anywhere but continue to write. ----De-stress---

And yes, did I mention losing 14 kgs of weight. Of course, no new year to-do's are ever complete without the losing weight bit.

Have a happy 2014 everyone. 

Stay happy, remember to count your blessings and love your people.

Cutting the umbilical cord

When OPN, the online poker news website I look after was invited to cover its first live poker tournament, the only thought worrying me was 'What about the kids?' I couldn't take them but I couldn't leave them. It would mean additional expense, additional responsibility on the trip and lesser time to focus on the reporting job at hand. The middle path was chosen. It was decided to leave the 3 year old DD with Mom and take the 6 month DD (who has to be with me for obvious reasons).

Now taking a decision is easier than implementing it. As the departure date came nearer, all sorts of worries also drew closer. Will she drink milk without me? How will she sleep without Mohit to put her off? Will she watch too much TV? What if she wakes up in the middle of the night to find us missing and starts crying? Will one of us have to rush back home cutting the trip short? My stress levels were so high that I made sure I left all the things she loves in ample quantity at home. A bag full of sausages, a new game, lots of gems, some lollipops and a play date with her best friend. Planned a lot, worried even more. I made sure both the days she was left behind would be busy for her so she slept peacefully without troubling her grand mom.

Umpteen anonymous calls later, I was told she was absolutely fine and completely enjoying herself. I settled into my trip as the busy schedule left me with little time to worry. Between managing the six month old to live reporting till the wee hours, I was forced to go with the flow. I missed her and ached to talk to her. But feared she might miss me if I spoke on the phone to her. Even when I slept I dreamt that she had got hurt or was unwell.

At the end of the 60 hours that we spent apart, I was so proud of my little baby. I felt she had grown up hurriedly and had been so co-operative. This trip was very important for my website and I wanted to make it happen for myself. But I didn't want to do anything at the expense of my daughter's happiness. But finally, we had managed to do it all. Do two days of awesome coverage, have a good poker exposure and also ensure Navya's happiness; thanks to her grand mom's love and support.

Even as we walked back from our trip to the house, Navya hugged Myra first, her Dad next and Me at the last. This only meant that my baby was hardly a little baby now. She was grown up. She had stayed without her mom for 3 days and not complained at all. She had done the inevitable. She had done something i shuddered to even think let alone implement. She had in fact implemented it so well that I felt unwanted. I felt I was so unimportant that my daughter didn't even miss me. Aren't we mommies mad?

Navya had finally cut the umbilical cord. I ached for this for so long but was too afraid to experiment. Little did I know that life has its own pace and things come to on their own. My little baby: I am so proud of you! i now know that this is an omen that my baby is ready to face the world and go out to big school and that brighter things are in store for me professionally.

Imperfect Mommy

I am a mother to two kids now. Even though I live this everyday, it is disbelieving for me to write it. Just 3 years back, I wasn't even a mother. I was simply a girl who was trying to optimise her role as wife and daughter-in law. A girl who was confused enough in the social strata of the Indian family to become a mother. I was thin(well, not too much so), I was confident, I used to sleep for 9 hours each day, I used to think of fun things to do with the husband. Then came the babies. And I changed.

Now I am fat, always confused and forgetful, sleep for less than 6 hours a day and spend less than 15 mins of exclusive time with the husband. Fun things mean going to KFC or the mall's play pen. The occasional Sunday trip to Hamley's or an amusement park is the added bonus to the month. I now look for child friendly restaurants and don't carry a handbag anymore. With one infant in the front sling and the toddler holding my hand, there is little place on my body to carry a handbag. The diaper bag is what is the family's holdall now.

I have dark circles which my daughter makes fun of. She says my kajal is dipping too low. With a family history of dark circles and eye bags, 5-6 hours of sleep in a day isn't doing any good. I wake up 2-3 times in the night to feed the infant. Sometimes it becomes 4 times and I become nastier. I scream at the poor infant sometimes. In frustration of less sleep, I wake up cranky and sulk while getting the toddler ready for school. I bathe in a hurry and pay little attention to how I look because someone is always crying, hungry or plain needy. It doesn't matter how I look. What is more important that the TV channel needs to be changed to the Kids TV. The husband gets angry at me when I scold the kids or crib about the little time I get to myself. I wonder if he notices that I don't look the same or appear as happy.

I spend average days full of baby poo, wet nappies, some nose snot and more drippy mouths and dirty hands full of mud or play dough. I feed them, bathe them, dress them, clean them, nurse them, play with them, cry with them and laugh with them. At the end of each day I ache for some alone time with the husband or some 'me' time. But then again, when they sleep I wait for them to wake up and fill my room with laughter. Its all this and more idiocy in my life currently.

I am fasting for my two kids today on Ahoi Asthami and I feel no hunger at all. Even lesser than I felt on Karva Chauth when I fasted for my husband.  My life is a roller coaster and I accept that I am so very imperfect. I am just a human who is trying hard to be a mother, a wife, a daughter in law first and then a daughter, sister or friend. I am 33 years old but that does that mean I am grown up. I am simply your everyday girl who is trying to play multiple roles. I am an Imperfect Mommy at best and a below average wife and daughter in law. But then again, in trying to be a good mother and wife, I am hardly a good daughter or a friend. I forget to wish my friends on their birthday, all because I am trying to make my family's life better. I don't speak with my mother more than 10 minutes in a day, all because the kids are always seeking my attention.

I am a human being. I make mistakes. I am an Imperfect Mommy.
Leave the judgement aside. Love me for what I am. 

That big word that starts with R

The last few months have just gone past in a hurry. It seems the words from the song 'Rush, Rush' were coined for new mommies only. Because rushed up is what life has become ever since second bub arrived. From the minute I wake up to the time my head hits the pillow at night, everything is committed in a rush.

Now I don't need an alarm. Myra is my alarm, she wakes me up in the morning and I jump to her cot to pick her up so the husband and Navya don't wake up. And that's when the morning rush starts. From early morning feeds to diaper change to milk for the elder bub to getting her dressed for school to handling the husband's breakfast, life rushes from one task to another. Morning turns to afternoon and afternoons to evenings. And before I know it, the day has rushed into the night.

As it strikes 10 at night and both the kids are in bed and I am assured that none will wake up in the next two hours is when I feel my day has just come alive. I feel I want to live everything in these two hours before I go to sleep and the morning charade starts. I want to watch TV, finish my work assignments, spend time with the husband, talk on the phone and do everything else that the day evaded me during this time. Do everything before Responsibility strikes again.

Once after a very busy Sunday, made more miserable by a cranky baby on a saturday night; Mohit wished to rest and take a nap. It was decided that only one of us could sleep since the other had to be with the babies. It was decided he go off since 'he is just a man' while I am super mom.

Responsibility and loads of it more has also come with the two girls. After people raise eye brows at the mention of my second child being a girl too, I sometimes get 'responsibility pangs'. These make me look for everything from life insurance for the parents, mediclaim for the family, bank accounts for the kids, FD's and other investments in their names etc...etc...etc...these pangs sometimes even extend into tears imagining their weddings and them going off to someone else's house. Such is the load that life feels with us becoming two time parents now.

RESPONSIBILITY in all caps is what is the norm of the day. Responsibility to make sure the kids are fed, dressed, happy, playing and healthy. Responsibility that sometimes leads to anxiety that two such tiny souls are so dependent on me. Responsibility that means I cannot fall sick, even catch a cold. Responsibility that means my ears and eyes are trained enough to hear that small sniff or see that red mosquito bite.

Responsibility that I bring up these two young ladies into smart and intelligent world citizens. And that is something I cannot do in a rush. So that is when sometimes I tell myself 'slow down, woman'. Whoever said 'a happy mom makes for a happy kid' wasn't kidding at all. And on days when I am happy my kids definitely are a happy lot too. So I have made myself responsible for my own happiness today. There is no one in the world that can make me happy but myself and I have resolved to be 'responsibly happy. After all, if Super mom is happy then the whole household is happy too!!!!

And my 2 year old grows up

Each time I bump into relatives I am always asked if Navya, my 2 year and 8 month old daughter is happy to welcome her soon to arrive sibling. I just shrug and say 'I hope so.' Over the past six months I have tried to do everything to make her feel comfortable and happy about the fact that she will soon be an elder sister and there will be a tiny brother/sister in her life.

But on most occasions, she isn't happy to be told that she will have to share her mom/papa/grandma and even her Didi(domestic help). She insists that to avoid such a confrontation she is willing to be the little baby's mom so there isn't sharing of close ones.

She even wants the little one to sleep in her room. For the sole reason that she will get to sleep with mummy and papa; in their room. She has allowed me to put the baby cot in her room so that is highly accommodating. But on the condition that a Navya's corner is created in mummy-papa's room where she can sleep. Fair Enough!

Mohit and I have tried talking to her. Telling her in many subtle ways that a baby will soon come in our lives and we all will have to look after the baby. We have shown her books, dolls of infants and read stories explaining the things a little baby will need. She doesn't care less. She simply rolls into my lap saying I am her mama. She tells Mohit when he bathes her that he cannot bathe the new baby and this bathing routine will be her sole property.

But tonight before sleeping, we were in an embrace and talking when I told her you will always be my sweety baby. She answered back immediately, " And right now I am your little baby. But only till the chota baby comes. Haina, Mumma?" I simple hugged her tighter and told her she will always be my most special one. My little one has finally reconciled to the arrival of a little one in our lives. She has grown up. And that is the final signal that we are finally armed and ready to welcome the new born.

The pregnancy diary

Most people divide their pregnancies in months. Doctors divide them in weeks. Others divide them in trimesters. I have divided my current pregnancy based on occurrences. In each phase of this pregnancy I have faced grave emotional situations and difficult physical conditions.

What Doctors call the first trimester was the confusion stage where I didn't know if this was meant to be. Well, that is certainly normal for every pregnant woman. But my confusion had serious causes. I was in the process of making a house and was due to shift houses. If i went forth with the pregnancy, my kid brothers wedding would coincide with my fifth month of pregnancy.

Well, I went ahead with it as is very obvious. And soon Mohit decided to aggravate his knee injury by tripping down the stairs. A doctor told us he needed a surgery. More confusion! And this confusion hadn't even found a solution when I got an emotional jolt. My daughter had her first ever(and hopefully last one) fracture. She broke her elbow bone and was in a cast for 21 days. It must've been a huge physical strain for my two year old but it was an even bigger emotional trip for me. I still remember the morning I stood in the Emergency ward of Paras Hospital getting her strapped. She screamed as two male nurses put the cast on, my head spinned. Light headed, I wanted to cry and scream too.

The fifth month as already mentioned was Prateek's wedding. It went on in clothes fittings and the main festivities. Of course, I couldn't dance as the others did. And the loud blaring music didn't go down too well with the baby who chose to start kicking too soon. Early mornings and late nights, great food and lovely family; all was excellent but my energies were still low.

The sixth month was just beginning when we had to move to our new house which was partially complete. We packed, we moved and made it into a home. The seventh was spent in monitoring too many masons, electricians, plumbers who were there to renovate my house and haunt my days. After umpteen rounds of all 3 floors of the house through the day, the house was still partially finished. I was relieved the workers were atleast out of the house and finally thought I would get some deserving rest.

The husband then decided to drop the bombshell. The surgery that was pending on his knee was now going to happen. So we got him operated and the eighth month began. The anniversary came and went. The talks for a baby shower for me and the baby had been rejected by the husband pre-surgery. Post-surgery he softened up and told me to have one.

So the eight month is now on and so is the baby shower. The latter was supposed to be my way getting my pregnancy pampering. I still remember writing about my first pregnancy being like a courtship period. If my second one is any benchmark, then no one wants such a courtship. While the baby shower is supposed to happen next week, I am still clueless.

Clueless as to when the husband will heal and walk. Clueless if I am nursing him well. Clueless on why Navya is insecure about the attention her dad is getting. Clueless as to when is a good time to cancel the baby shower. Clueless about who will drive me to the hospital if the baby decides to come in early. Clueless as to the things I haven't done: No Lamaze, no bhajans for the baby, no daddy talking, no disciplined eating. Clueless as to what will happen when the second baby arrives.

CLUELESS!!!!

My flower blooms on!

26th Feb was important for us! Not because Mohit was to visit his knee Doctor today to get a final verdict on when his surgery should happen. It was special because Navya was going to perform for the first time on the stage. Her school had a sports day and she was one of the participants  Well, actually all the kids were participating in whatever small way.

We had an early start to the day and she looked her boyish best in the sports kit that the school had made compulsory for that day. We were to be seated by 10:30 am and hoped that Navya's act came before Mohit had to leave for his doctors appointment. We were told Navya was a part of a special March past by the toddlers of the school. But Mohit wasn't going to be lucky enough and like all programs in India, the Sports Day also started late.

In the scorching heat, the function began with two tiny tots running with an artificial flame. It was cuteness personified but my eyes were set on the forthcoming march past. Soon it was the toddler class that marched in with all sorts of banners and placards announcing the benefits of good health and happy living. And there my little star came, cheeks flushed because of the heat but walking smoothly on the chalked line as instructed by the teachers. Following the line to the end, she didn't deter even looking at the sidelines littered with balloons. The turns were taken at exact 90 degrees not to miss the chalked line. It was plain simple 'left right' happening for my baby but to me it was a glorious dance. It was pure sweetness and I have no words to express what i felt. For everyone else, it was a group of kids walking through the lawn but for me it was a proud moment when the little darling I adore did an activity independently.

Soon i was on a messaging spree to Mohit telling him in as many as 12 messages about what Navya had done. Sinfully, I was missing what was happening during the function since I was completely mesmerized since Navya had walked off. When i finally looked up, the tiny tots were doing some dances that symbolised nature, plants, animals etc. Various classes were coming one by one, extremely cute and adorable, the little ones looked. Somewhere far off I spotted a line of kids headed by Navya's mentor. I wondered what was her class doing next to the stage again. Before I could do any calculations, that line of kids came walking on the stage and the second one was Navya. She was wearing a costume of a flower and occupied centre stage. Soon some music started playing and the kids broke into a dance.

My baby was dancing now. The kid in the bumblebee costume next to her was crying. So was the last kid in the butterfly dress. Navya was intently looking at her teacher who was trying to remind the kids of the steps. She twisted, she waved, she swayed to the left and then to the right and she went round and round in circles. I realised i was standing up and trying to put on the video camera in my phone. After fumbling a bit, I managed it trying to capture that moment through my eyes and to save it forever for everyone at home to see.

All of two and a half minutes, I wanted the act to last a lifetime. I was proud, I was happy, I was ecstatic.
In that moment, I realised how parents of school toppers and various achievers must be feeling; when I was over the moon with my daughter performing a simple dance. In that brief span of time, I had felt proud, teary and also happy to be a mother. It was that rare spell when you feel nothing else matters now but being a mother makes it all worth the while. I re-lived Navya's 2 and half years in a jiffy. The little flower I gave birth to was blooming for me, making me smile and making life worth living. 

Honey, you are getting a sidekick!

From the happy trio to the ecstatic foursome soon!

For me and the husband, its been mostly a case of 'been there, done that' and we hardly noticed that I was pregnant till the baby bump became quite obvious. The only bone of contention for me has been preparing Navya to be the 'big sister' soon. She certainly isn't playing the part very well since she has already started taking over everything that we decide is for the forthcoming 'chota baby'. From the sleeping bag to the blanket to the tiny booties to the rattles, she now wants everything that she has outgrown in the past 2 years.

Nevertheless the effort is on to prepare her. So what exactly is it that I am doing to make her a big sister to her awaited sibling? Here's a rundown on some of my recent efforts:

1. I ordered 5 books on the arrival of a second baby, handling a sibling, preparing your first child for a sibling, welcoming a baby in the house and every possible title that would put to rest her uneasiness about the baby. She decided to ignore all 5 books.
2. A frantic rush to toilet train her started with the onset of 2013. From rushing her to the potty seat every now and then to getting my pajamas dirty with kiddy poo-poo, I am weathering it all. The cold hasn't helped much and it seems extremely unlikely that she will be toilet trained completely by the time the little one comes. On the brighter side, they can sit on a double potty seat perhaps!
3. Asking her to kiss the baby bump is perhaps the sweetest attempt from her end. She does manage a kiss for the baby bump once a week but that perhaps is more because of her fascination towards bare skin than anything else.
4. Her Mamu-Mami gifting her a cute doll of an infant was a stroke of a genius. Complete with a pram, a baby carrier, feeding bottles and a high chair. This baby kit has certainly given her some insight into the things to come.
5. Diapering the barbies and the teddies and the doggies has been another task we have been up to. To acquaint her with how the baby will mess her bed, I regularly show her why a little baby is diapered. While the Barbie is too lean, it is generally her total contingent of soft toys that finish of the diapers that come at Rs.15 a piece.
6. We now have names for all her dolls and soft toys. From Julie to Agastya to Celina to Joey, we have random names for everything that looks similar to anything that has legs and a face. Sometimes the clay models we make are also christened to inform her that the new baby will also have a name.
7. The most important thing that we have miserably failed in is getting her to sleep in her bed. She continues to sleep in our bed and unless we hit gold in the next month, it is either 4 people on one bed or Mohit hits the guest room.

So while it is 7 months down and 2 more to go, the panic button has just been pressed. Everything I didn't realise in the past 28 weeks is now rushing to me. From a baby shower to maternity shoot to overeating and pampering, now I want to do it all. Trying to live the 9 months of pregnancy in the 2 that are pending now...And yes, of course preparing Navya to have her very own sidekick...That is the main agenda as of now. Tips Welcome!