From Looking Up to Looking Down: How Kids Grow, and Parents Shrink!

 

There comes a moment in every parent's life when they realize their kids are no longer the tiny toddlers they once cradled in their arms. It sneaks up on you—one day, you're reaching down to hold their hands, and before you know it, you're craning your neck to meet their gaze. For me, this realization hit hard last year. As 2024 progressed, one of the marked achievements of the year was Me, the Mom Boss in the family being officially declared the shortest member of the family. I've had to accept that I'm no longer the towering authority figure I once was, at least in height. Instead, I find myself quite literally looking up to them, both physically and emotionally.

Growing up in the 80's I always thought that I was in the higher percentile of heights in my generation. I am 162 cms and I pride myself on being the taller ones from Gen X. But enter Gen Alpha where people about 160 cm are also considered short. Now everyone is averaging around 170 cm which makes 160+ seem slightly dwarfy. The first realisation of being short happened when my 14 year old started towering over me 2 years back. I was not able to hug her chest to chest, my head could easily curl up on her shoulder. Enter 2024 and the younger one started pulling up. Till now I felt I still had my little one to hug, hold and bully since she was the shortest. By summers, she was as tall as me. That is when the race began. The race to not being the shortest in the family. Of course, the husband was never in the race. It was a 2 player battle now! Myra would check her height weekly and soon I was officially declared the shortest. 

It started subtly over the years—the time she reached my shoulder height, I chuckled and thought it was cute. But soon enough, she was at eye level. I would stand on tiptoes or wear heels in family photos to avoid looking like the shortest. The day my youngest officially surpassed my height was both amusing and emotional.  And that's when they coined a name for me. I was 'CHOTU' now. And will continue to stay the same forever. Since there is no way I can gain anything now, only inches and kgs nothing on the height scale is moving for me. 

Height isn't just a number; it symbolizes the passage of time. Watching your kids grow taller than you is a tangible reminder of how fast they’re growing up. It’s a bittersweet milestone that marks their journey toward independence and adulthood. And while it can be a little humbling to realize you're no longer the biggest in the family, it's also incredibly rewarding to see them grow into confident, capable individuals.

Being the 'Chotu' in the family has also given me a new perspective on parenting. It’s a reminder that authority and respect aren’t about size. It’s about the bond we share, the lessons we teach, and the love we give. I may be the shortest now, but in their eyes, I’ll always be their parent—the one who stood tall for them when they needed it the most.

Sure, there are practical challenges to being the shortest in the family—like struggling to reach the top shelf or having to ask my kids to grab things for me. But there’s also humor and joy in these moments.  What earlier felt like a shy moment to ask them to reach out to the top shelves of the kitchen is now a moment of pride for me. And while they're lazy to do any chores in the house, they love to grab things that are out of my reach. I get patted on the head and joked, 'Oh, Chotu can't reach there!'

As I look up to my kids now, I realize that I’m proud of the people they’re becoming. And while I may have shrunk in comparison, my love for them continues to grow. After all, parenting isn’t about who stands the tallest—it’s about who stands by your side, no matter what. and this CHOTU is here to stay, no matter what!

Gulmarg: The Snow Queen, without its crown!

I last visited Kashmir as a child with my parents when I was 8. 35 years later, with an increased vigour in me to catch the falling snow, I decided to plan a short trip to Gulmarg. Elaborate itineraries, over priced hotel rooms, Gulmarg Gandola bookings- everything was planned under the wraps. SHHHHH...I wanted to surprise the husband by taking him to the airport and telling him we're going to watch the falling snow as a pre-birthday trip. Whilst I planned and did all the bookings, I kept an eye on the Winter and Snow casts of Gulmarg and the area. Some said 9th January will see a decent flurry. I was happy and all set by Christmas.

As the year turned into 24, my two reliable weather-mans Navdeep and Shubham had already started talking about the lack of snow in the hills. I started probing more to understand if I was going to get my money's worth or no. Hours of research on accuweather and JKSki apps and inputs of the weatherman's suggested that my trip was not going to witness any fresh snow. I cajoled myself hoping that the last month's snow would be enough. Then the news articles and media coverage showing pictures of a dry and distraught Gulmarg started emerging. That is when I broke the news to the husband and asked him to take the call on cancellation . Being the baniya that he is, he was not going to let any money go waste on cancellations, so we decided to go ahead. 

We landed in sunny conditions crossing the snowcapped mountains and hoped for the clouds to open their heart out to us. We layered up well as we started moving up the mountains to reach Tangmarg. The hill side from where one needed snow chained vehicles was now seeing regular sedans also climbing it. We reached Gulmarg with the sun shining bright , blue skies looking down at us. The wind was chilled and it was super cold but no sign of snow. 

The Dhabas in the market were empty. The prevalent snow on the slopes was turning to ice and was slippery. There was neither the lush green that one sees in the Summers nor the  powdery white that is seen in Winters. There was a light brown shade all around. The locals were hungry for tourists and snow because one led to another and vice versa. There was some snow as we went up the Gulmarg Gandola. Both the phases had some amount of snow but nothing that satiated the hunger of a tourist seeking falling snow. A maximum of 1 feet of snow at some places where one pretended to ski or sledge for the instagram reels. 

But the views from the top of Pir Panjal! WOW! The Chinar and pine trees that dot the landscape. A topography I have never seen. The valley is beautiful beyond words. I assume that with snow across Gulmarg the hill town has another charm. But even without snow, the valley outclassed all sights I had ever seen. The might of the hills, the serenity of the valley and the calmness of the cottages, I fell in love with Gulmarg. It might not have been the preferred colors of green or white. I fell in love with the brown Gulmarg also. 

The city needs tourists as 90% of its revenue comes from tourism. One can only enjoy the charm and warmth of the city and its people once you go there. The grandeur and the majesticity of Gulmarg can only be enjoyed with your own eyes! No photos can do any justice!

A queen without its crown is still a queen!

Gulmarg without its white is still the Snow Queen of Kashmir!

The Year That was! The year that will be!

 

As the saying goes, " Time flies when it is good." I assume 2023 has been a good year and thats why it has whizzed past me. I was trying to list down what the year gave me and i have penned down the below. 

My gains from 2023 are-

1. I completed my 40 countries. This was a huge boost for me, I needed to do this for myself.
2. I read 10 books. I know it's a very small number. But i had absolutely stopped reading after my kids were born. So i set myself a small target of 10 books to start with. I even read a few self help and business management books.
3. I started saying NO. I said no to a few things this year. I am still not there, but i am on my way.
4. I started saying YES. I started accepting myself as I am. I started loving myself as I am. 
5. I now have a skin routine before bedtime and I am elated I started it.
6. I read the Bhagwad Gita.
7. I saw falling snow with my kids and spouse.
8. I started investing wisely. I managed my own investment portfolio and enjoyed doing it.

My pains from 2023 are-

1. I continue to let people find faults in my choices. 
2. I wanted to cut sugar from my life but I am too sweet to do it.
3. I should've worked more and with extra passion which I didn't.
4. I was not charitable at all.
5. I fell sick too often with viral.
6. I didn't visit Kedarnath like I intended to.
7. I didn't appreciate my spouse and kids as much as I should've.

What I want to do in 2024-

1. See atleast 1 wonder of the world.
2. Visit Kedarnath or Vaishno Devi Temple.
3. Spend quality time with the kids and spouse.
4. Reduce screen(mobile) to not more than 30 minutes post work.
5. Cut down on sugar and alcohol.
6. Take a holiday without any guilt.
7. Increase my investment portfolio by 2X
8. Visit a Dark Sky Reserve and see the Milky Way.
9. Watch more live plays than movies in theatres. 
10. Eat before sunset atleast 3 times a week.
11. Learn to Meditate.
12. Say I Love You and I am thankful.

I don't know why all my to-do's start with travel and end with being mindful. Maybe that is what is the purpose of my life. I was intended to be a nomad but I realised I couldn't survive alone. I was supposed to be a traveller, but i can't do it as a loner. I hope I am able to keep my 2024 goals alive. I am not pledging to lose weight(though i should). I have simple wants and I am going to fulfil them in my simple way. 

2023- You've been kind!

2024- Pls be kinder and happier!

Rupal

3 Years Late but We Did it!

On 5th June 2023, I set foot in the Czech Republic which marked the completion of my 40 countries. A goal I had set for myself 5 years back- To have travelled 40 before I turned 40 in September 2020. Covid came, stayed, wrecked havoc and left me mentally weak to not have the courage to complete my goal. I fell short by 3 countries when the world closed down in March 2020. My 40th birthday came and went, my family did everything they could to celebrate! Everything around my 40th birthday celebration centred around my dream of 40. 

But anytime I would hear the number 40, something inside hurt. To everyone else, it was just a number- To me it was a failed dream! When the world opened in 2022 and travel started, I was scared of something I loved. With 2 bouts of bad covid, I now feared the foreign lands and the unchartered territories. I wanted to fulfil my dream but didn't know how to start back. 2023 started off on a different note and I found the same rigour that I felt in 2018 and 2019. Finally, after a lot of planning Oman, Poland and Czech Republic were ticked off the Bucket List and I touched the Coveted 40- 3 years Late but Nonetheless!

Some of us live our entire lives without fulfilling a goal, some of us even without setting one. And that is why I felt extremely proud of myself when I wandered on the rustic bridges of Prague. In fact, I felt proud of all of us. It was a solo dream that turned into a united resolve. I may have dreamt to reach 40 countries but it took a lot from everyone around me to get there.

First and Foremost, the husband who gave me entire financial support; sometimes even in crunch times. In our bootstrapped start up days when we minimised our expenses, he let me spend on my travel as i wished. My kids, my mother in law, my family- everyone rallied around me to look after each other, manage the household as I travelled. My friends- who stepped out of their ways to do day trips/weekend trips with me to visit a new country. It was as if the universe was conspiring to make this happen!

My wanderlust didn't bite the dust because of all of us. Because of how everyone around me rallied and spurred me on. Some with co-travelling, some with talking, some with motivating! Everyone contributed to my goal. So much so that I felt on that fateful day of 5th June, I would cry as we crossed the German border into Czechia. But since it wasn't only my achievement, the skies opened their hearts out. It rained, poured and wouldn't stop. In that moment, my tears wouldn't come out. Someone else out there was crying for me in happiness. Someone else out there was doing fist pumps! Someone else out there was grinning cheek to cheek! 

"When you want something with all your heart, you are closest to the soul of the world. That in itself is a very positive and powerful force."

You know your dream is teaching them things when the kids text you this !

And like the song goes-

🎵'Pehla ta Kudi ne Ludhiana bhi nahi tapiya si' 🎵

See you on the other side of 50 Now!

R