By February 2020, I had added 6 pretty nations including Montenegro, Croatia, Hungary, Albania and Bosnia and Herzegovina & Slovakia to the list. I was 3 shy of my target of 40 countries. I wanted to wrap up my target by March itself with a couple retreat planned to Jordan, Israel and Egypt. Then I wanted to celebrate my triumph with the kids during their Summer vacations by heading to 41 and beyond. And then Covid struck. But this blog post isn't only about the fact about how the pandemic has affected my plans and how disheartened I am, but also what about why I went on this path and what I have achieved.
During the last 12 months, I have been asked several times in varying tones- 'Whats the big deal about 40?', 'Why only travel goals?' 'Why do you want to do 40 countries?' 'What difference will it make if you complete 40?' BLAH BLAH....My answer to everyone would always be- "Because this is the current purpose of my life. " And my opening discourse would go on to say- "We live entire lifetimes tending to the everyday things. The getting up in the morning, the cleaning up, cooking meals, bathing, sending kids to school, going to work, eating our meals, exercising, going out with friends, sleeping.....Everything goes on, everyday. Everyone is doing the same/similar things day after day. We live...Ultimately we start existing... I wanted to start living again and not exist. I wanted excitement and enthusiasm to return. I wanted my life to have a Personal Goal."
I found myself guilty for leaving my family and kids unattended to achieve this. I found myself guilty of leaving my work for days altogether. I found myself guilty of leaving the husband incharge of not only work but also the home front. I found myself guilty of asking the elder one to look out for her younger sibling and grow up before her time. I found myself guilty of putting my pleasure first!
But what did I gain? I gained my kids respect. My kids realised the importance of goals. They understood how we need to set a goal and go all out for it. I gained so much of self esteem. A new found confidence in myself, from going to new places, doing things on my own, being alone gave me a whole new perspective to life. I gained my friends back. I had made my life so busy that I didn't have time to reconnect with my friends on a regular basis. Suddenly I had all my friends having my back. People rallied around me to push me on and help me achieve this personal goal. I gained my family's support. Little did i think that the elders in my family would understand my passion. But they did. My parents and my mother in law were my biggest cheerleaders, they sent me off each time with their blessings and looked after my nest too.
And now, exactly 2 months to my deadline, I was forced to question myself. Was it really worth it? I've spent 4 months being nowhere but home. With no travel happening for anyone, it seems I will end up with a zoom call on my 40th and with 37 countries on the passport. Some of you may still think- 'So, whats the big deal? ' Well, for me, it is. I haven't tried so hard to achieve something all my life. I haven't dreamt so much about anything else. I haven't spoken so much to everyone I know about anything but this. I have lived more in those 6 months than I did in the last 6 years. That's the kind of perspective a 'goal' gave me. It changed me on all fronts. It made me live and look forward to the next day. It made me happy. I hope I can keep the happiness intact and keep believing that it will happen.
I am happy I tried. I am happy I dreamt.
And Mr/Ms Covid- you can't take what I have achieved so far. I am down but not out.
I have 2 months and 3 countries to go.
The world will open up. The planes will start jet-setting.
The airports will bustle and I will be there when that happens!
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