Making up for 4 Years in 4 Weeks!!

Last Friday I came back from office with a revelation. I might not be returning in this building for a month, I wondered! I figured the country was headed to a shutdown and a consequent slowdown once we restart. And suddenly, as I told the kids that I wasn't going to go to work on Monday, the younger one jumped with joy and that's when reality hit. Someone's sorrow was another one's joy. What I thought was doom seemed like boom to my child. She was overjoyed that I was going to be with her for a few weeks, day and night, 24X7...

After that moment, I have had my time to introspect and look inside. I realised that I had spent the last 4 years ignoring a lot of things to build a business that probably won't survive this apocalypse. I realised I had worked so hard tirelessly to tag myself a successful startup founder which will probably not be the case after a month. I figured I had prioritised work over life, myself and family and friends while the latter is all I have now.

While me and the husband worked to pursue our dreams, we forgot what my kids wanted. They barely wanted to share their daily joys with me. They barely wanted to tell me how they made that clay wheel, how their molar is shaking, how they were made the line monitor in school, how they shared their popcorn in the bus. But most of those I wasn't listening! I was more concerned on which payments had come in, how many orders were delivered for the day, who was doing the night shift and who was doing the early morning shift and what not.

We worked and worked thinking it was for the future of our families. We worked because we thought money is what we needed to last us a lifetime. We worked assuming our kids needed a career and only money could provide the same. We worked in the belief that it was the only way to survive in this competitive world. Little did I realise that what i thought were the tiny sacrifices were the biggest things.

But it seems opportunity does knock twice. And this time it came knocking and swept me away. I was pushed in a corner with no work to do. It literally took a complete shutdown to wake me up and realise that one can spend an entire day just lying in bed cuddling one child after another. Complete dose of the last 4 years Oxytocin rolled into 4 weeks.

So I am pressing the RESET button. I don't know where life will take me after a few weeks because who knows it might be a new world order. I don't know how materialistic the world be after this pandemic and whether my business services will be just as needed as they are currently. But I know this for sure that I am going to make up for the last 4 years in these coming weeks and live my life. I am going to grab every hug, every kiss and every moment that comes my way with happiness and make it matter. I am not going to worry whether I will be starting afresh at work once this is over or not, life is giving me a second chance to live and I will happily grab it.

I don't care if I am a failed businesswoman as long as I am a successful person.
I don't care if I don't do 40 before 40 as long as I have travelled inside my family's heart.
I don't care if I can't buy that expensive bag as long as my regular cross body has money for milk and bread.
I don't care if I don't have the current model of mobile as long as there is data on the current to stream zoom and netflix.
I don't care if i don't have the latest pair of jeans as long as my tracks and tee fit.
I don't care if i don't go to eat at the new restaurant as long as we have a family cookout.
I don't care for what I didn't do as long as I have the opportunity to make things right now.