Tuesday, July 22, 2014

If boys will be boys continues...Then life is doomed!

We are a country that runs the maximum education schemes for the girl child.
We are a country that wants quotas for females in the political system.
We are a country that makes the maximum noise for anti-dowry laws.
We are a country that has politicians going at loggerheads over women empowerment.
Yet, we are THE country most notorious for its rapes of women.
Off late, rapes of females in their juvenile form.
In their most innocent and simple form.

I am a female. I got upset, anguished and scared all at the same time when the 'Nirbhay' case came to light. I felt insecure and doomed as a lady. I feared going out on the Indian roads alone even during the day times. I slowly reconciled, despite her losing her life's battle falling prey to someone's crave for lust. 

I am a mother. I got mad, enraged and scared again. This time when the Bangalore 6 year old girl rape came to news. This time double scared since I am a mother to two small girls. I am supposed to protect them. They are my life-long responsibility. How can I protect them from monsters when I am already scared about myself? 

Each morning I walk my 4 year old daughter to the bus stop. One morning the bus was empty at her stop and she was the only child on the bus till the next stop. I had to make the quick decision to hop on the bus with her and not let her be ferried alone, in this mad world. Why am I forced to live in this fear? I gave birth to two beautiful girls thinking they will have just as good or maybe a better living than I have. But how can they have even a peaceful existence at best if at each turn, there is a set of eyes stripping them down. 

Back to the morning bus stroll with the daughter. While we wait for the bus to come, we are forced to see 3-4 male laborers taking a half naked bath in the open. I always turn my gaze away giving them their moment of privacy. One morning, a female labourer was also taking a bath there, complete with her sari on. The neighbours guard and servant looked on for the complete 5 minutes without as much as blinking an eye. Is it about education or simply being a male? What is it? If Iam  looking away while a male is bathing in open  vision, then why can't two men also look away if a fully clad woman is forced to bathe in the open? Are males that disgusted or frustrated in life? Disclaimer for stereotyping the 'superior sex' but the way things are in our country today, it just gets you so anguished that you are forced to brand all alike.

When will we begin to look at a female for anything else but her body?
When will we let little girls just be what they are? Small little girls!
When will we let mothers like me live in peace with themselves and for their girls?

Life is about living, enjoying and loving and not merely about rage, fear and lust!
Think about it, boys!

P.S. The tone of my blog is nowhere near the anguish I feel about this issue. I have tried to keep my tone as mellowed so someone can understand. 

Monday, July 7, 2014

What is with Football and Men?

If there is any man on TV(besides Narendra Modi, of course) who gets Mohit excited, jumpy, nervous and restless then its the one in the football jersey. And when 11 of them come together to face off against another 11, then it is a total riot in the living room. If they decide to dedicate a whole world cup to themselves then there is a paranoia in the house, at the work place and on the streets. That's what Football and the FIFA World Cup does to Mohit, most of his friends, most of the males at work, most of my male cousins, most of the people in this world with an X and Y Chromosome.

The FIFA World Cup is the time when this madness heightens. Even those who remotely have heard of the off side rule or think Ronaldo still means the former Brazilian player seem to be bitten by this football. Restauraunts start offering football platters, retail stores give away football t-shirts as shopping benefits; even poker sites start poker promotions laden with FIFA world cup. And this year it is in Brazil so the madness is even more. The only words I associated with Brazil were 'wax' and 'samba', now I know of a Brazilian Pauro, a Brazilian Caipirinha, even some male Brazilian bones like the one fractured by Neymar.

So I decided to figure out that what is with men and football? Why do men watch football? I thought, over thought and made a list:

1. Helps them show emotion: Taking the example from home ground itself. Mohit likes to wear his team specific football jersey and he sighs, jumps, laughs, abuses et al during the whole 90 minutes. So many emotions that perhaps I don't let him express come out when these 22 men fight over that round ball.
2. Male Bonding: Again the same example. During a match Mohit messages, calls, updates his status, comments on football status of other guys who are doing the same. Thus the male bonding.
3. Male Aggression and Skill: this is quite obvious. during a football match, every man in front of a screen is taking out his brutal force and aggression through the 22 who are battling on screen. Just like back seat drivers, men become TV players who vent out their aggression. Tactical skills and planning is something that men love to do and watching a football gives them the chance to show off their skills and advise on the topic.
4. Gender Inequality: If there is one game that men are proven to be better at then that is football. This game is like a war for every man watching it. Everything is about aggression, force, battle ground, war room etc etc....Thus everything about the game of football is very manly. There is no place for a female in it except for when she is the occasional hot WAG.
5. Excitement: And now the obvious. Football breaks the monotony of a man's life. He can shed the shackles of the stereotypes and sit in front of the TV screen and enjoy his moment of thrill. Football is that 'zone' of every man which no wife/girlfriend can ever break. Not with desire, not with sensuality and not even with football knowledge. Give a man the FIFA World Cup tickets to Brazil and he will skip his own wedding.


Friday, July 4, 2014

Halong Bay: A trip long awaited

Normally when I wake up early in the mornings it is always to either feed the baby or visit the toilet and I am back in the saddle within minutes, but not on 17th June as our Star Cruise Ship merrily cruised away in the South China Sea. I did wake up to put the baby off but then I decided to take a look at the sun rise from our 6X6 Balcony of our cabin.

What I saw was something my eyes had never gazed before. In lay mans language, all around the panorama were small islands, very very small islands cuddled next to each other like some hillocks merging to form a single mountain. All along the seascape as the ship moved slowly were  islands, sometimes alone, sometimes huddled in groups, mostly small but some of the bigger ones looked like mountain peaks in themselves. Emerging from the sea like majestic blocks of stones with a geography of their own.

As I tried to see how far ahead were we to hit Halong City, I could see one of these islets right next to the nose of the ship. The ship veered a bit to give the natural structure its due and kept making its way. I stood in awe of what nature was throwing at me. We were in Halong Bay.

In the midst of this splendour the sun decided to rise and show its respects. And I realised why was I made to wait five years and 2 kids to get to view this. Because I was supposed to stand in surreal silence at 6 am in the middle of the sea to witness the orange rays plunging out of from the islets and lighting up the blue waters. I decided not to scamper for my camera and first take in what I was witnessing. My eyes wanted to be the lens that wanted to capture this moment first and then capture it for the world to see. It all looked like the perfect moment from a dream where all is calm and at peace. That specific instance when the reality looks far off, you feel so close to an eternal existence and are afraid of even blinking at the cost of waking up. I am short of words and emotions and the pictures are short of a few frames. Halong Bay is that killer beauty that deserves a poets description and an expert lens-mans art.

I finally did click a few shots from my smartphone which definitely didn't do justice to the beauty that Halong Bay has. Now, for everyone who doesn't know,  Halong Bay has been on my 'must visit' list for an eternity. I have made, re-made and cancelled plans for Halong Bay on one pretext or the other every year. In 2014 when the nice man from MMTP told me the Star Cruise ship SuperStar Virgo was now plying the Hongkong-Sanya-Halong Bay-Hong Kong route after a hiatus of many years, I knew this was the vacation I wanted and we were soon jet setting.

While I know someday I will go back to Halong bay to look at the 1600 islets and also go within some of those mighty caves to look at the limestone karsts but for now I am bowing down to nature. UNESCO World Heritage Site and all is fine but nothing can go about naming or branding this natural extravaganza at its best.