Friday, December 16, 2016

The Year that Was....

The 36th year of my ongoing life will soon give way to the 37th year of my life. 2016 is getting over and as I listened to free music streaming on my brand new JIO, i went into a trance thinking about what's transpired in this year. I managed to fulfil some of my goals that I set in the beginning but most remained unfulfilled...Resolutions...Humbug!

One of the short term professional goal set by me for 2016 was to hit 50 orders a day for my gifting venture. We managed to do that and more in style. But the long term goal of getting featured as a gifting couple in a magazine stays unfulfilled. 

My relationship goal was to appreciate the husband more and have patience with kids. After 11 months of failing at that, I managed to get some hold on this in the fag end of 2016. I am getting there, surely and sorely...

My travel goal was to watch the sunset in Santorini and that was done.

My spiritual goal was to take my kids every sunday to the temple and teach them some chanting. Have only been able to do this half way.

Apart from that, the year had 3 big happiness quotients....

The first added vigour to my professional life. As mentioned above, Indiagift hit its first milestone of doing 50 orders a day. It was a hill we had to climb to have faith in what we are doing. Having overcome that, we are now looking at 75 as I write this.

The second and the most important event of 2016 was the arrival of Shrihaan. My youngest and cutest nephew. No offence to Ayush, Abhiraj and Yash and the other little men who make me feel like the most awesome BUA. But this newest guy is full of smiles for me and our family back home in Ludhiana. The bundle of joy to my brother and bhabhi is surely the apple of our eyes currently and definitely the high point of 2016 collectively.

The third and equally satisfying event of this year was the one regarding my inner self. It was the realisation of contentment(for the first time in my 36 years). It was a feeling of contentment within my means. It was a feeling of happiness without the artificial pleasures of the materialistic world. It was when i realised I didn't need a TUMI to travel, my North face Backpack does just as well. It was when I realised I didn't need an iPhone7 to talk, a heart to heart cuddled in the blanket did just as well. It was when I realised I didn't need that GUCCI bag for the birthday, a kindle to revive my book reading habit did much better. It was when I realised that I didn't need an expensive watch for my anniversary, hand picked flowers warmed the heart much more.

And it is a feeling that I hope stays. I wish to carry this single most thing into 2017 as my resolution. 
No fake promises to loose weight..No attempts at sleeping early and rising early.... No false declarations to catch up with old friends...

But a single minded focussed attempt at carrying on with 'CONTENTMENT'. 
Into 2017 and onwards!

Monday, October 24, 2016

The kind of responsibilities I want

Of protecting the edge of the pencil in that box
Of getting the crayon stains off the white socks.

Of shining the polish of the shoes so bright,
Of running and catching that yellow kite,

Of wearing the fancy dress on my big day,
Of eating all the desserts from the buffet.

Of having that first dialogue in broken english,
Of tugging the rope beyond the finish.

Of playing till dark when the bugs start to bite,
Of running so hard that the stomach becomes tight.

Of playing with toy cars till the tires go screech,
Of colouring the Doll's hair an uncanny peach.

Of buttered paranthas and jalebis so sweet,
Of Nani's cake and dadi's home made treats.

Of learning to write in the cursive font,
Of reciting the hindi poem so daunt.

Of having the longest hair in the class,
Of pillow fights and rolling on the grass.

Of ballet class and swimming sessions,
Of the most colourful bandaid on all the abrasions. 

Of the shoes that light when I walk,
Of secret diaries with the tiny lock.

Of the biggest star on the christmas tree,
Of playing and laughing because I am carefree.

Those are the kind of responsibilities I want.
Those are the kind of things to flaunt. 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Give me my husband...

I have known it for years now.
There was no hiding it from Day 1.
I hoped the obsession would go away with time.
But i hoped in despair.

I've known it all along.
Right from the time we got married in 2007.
It coincided with your 3rd term in the state.
You ruled your state in style and he became a fan.
A super one at that.

What started as mere hero worship turned into a full blown infatuation when you announced you were going to conquer the country.
He finally admitted in in February 2014 confessing ironically on Valentines day that he needed 2 months away from me. Away from family. Away from us ...To be with you. To help you win. To fight for you...
He didn't really leave home physically.
But mentally he was always with you.
He stalked you over the social media.
Preyed on everyone who belittled you.
He took pride in being called a Modified fanatic..

I would wake up at 2 AM to see that lone light in the room.
The light from his phone.
Typing away.
fighting a written duel on forums unknown...with people unnamed ....on causes unexplained..But all for you...
He tweeted like a bird...
He fought social wars with random friends of friends of friends on Facebook if they ever wrote a word against you.

Finally came the day when he woke up before anyone rose.
It was the day you smelled victory.
The malt of the most expensive kind was opened in our household.
The dance of a crazy man was danced.
The song of a hysterical heart was sung.
I hoped this was the end of it.
The love affair was over.
But all in despair.
Little did I know that this was the start of a affair that would take a turn of the most serious kind.

He celebrated your first anniversary with pride.
He shunned everyone who questioned your commitment...for him..and for the others...
On your second anniversary he was seen giving full mouthed lectures to strangers at parties...Without the effect of alcohol..
I'd often see friends' provocation to hear his tales of love.

I tried everything. I even gave up my job and started working with him.
I thought he'd lose himself in the burden of business and I'd win him back.
But you dealt the massive blow.
That was when you gave the bad men across the border a fitting reply.
He woke up to tales of Kargil.
He read post 65 war books.
He watched Pro India movies.
What started as a small affair was now an everlasting love.
Even as he would bathe he would tell me how he wished he hadn't failed in the SSB interviews.
He proclaimed he would've been in the infantry if he had.
All to be ONE with you...

that brings me to the current day.
I am not the one to give up so easily.
But I am willing to do a bargain.
I give you back the son of the land, you give me back the husband, Mr PM!











Monday, August 29, 2016

When the boss at home gets a new boss at work!

Even before I thought what I was going to write in this post, I knew a zillion headlines for it.
This post could've easily read ' When love and hate collide' or 'From the bedroom to the boardroom' or 'From Partners in Crime to Partners at Work', Mad at work and madly in love' etc etc....So you've not even started reading this one but you already know what it is about.

It is eventful that I indeed decided to write this post that's been lingering on my mind for an year today when i have completed one year of working in indiagift.in with Mohit. In fact, to rephrase it, working for him. Or rather under him.... This week I complete an year since we both actively started working in our new company and started pursuing those dreams that we didn't know at that time.

Working together though not new for us, was in a different avatar for the past year. We both worked together in adda52 for more than an year. And I was often asked by my peers about how it felt being together for the most part of the day? At that time, I always thought it was thrilling. Driving together to work. Spending those 30 mins of quality time just talking about random stuff. Sneaking that quick hug in his cabin sometimes. Or blowing a random kiss through the meeting! It was all fun, exciting and new.

With our own company came the challenges of not only managing a household and the kids together but also bearing the burden of the same organisation. During our adda52 days out of our 16 awake hours, my constant crib was the continuous jabber about poker, now we can't even help but discuss the revenue excel or the attendance sheet or the investor dock all the time. It is no longer restricted to the 16 awake hours. Even in my dreams, my boss(at work) is constantly telling me to focus more and be patient.

I remember giving an interview together to some startup magazine and proudly coining the term 'Couplepreneur'. It had a quirky feeling about it then. Now while the couple part stays neglected, the entrepreneur part is surely in full swing.

During the past year, we have seen many ups and downs. Not only have we learnt to understand the other's opinion at work without even actually expressing it but we have also learnt how to bear each other for 24 hours a day. Not only have we learnt how to play good cop, bad cop at work but also switch the bosses role the moment the residence arrives. We have learnt to trust each other's instinct and respect the other's decision. We have grown as a couple, as business partners and as individuals. We have come far across in defeating the common notion that a couple can never work together. While couple goals might have been superseded by business goals, it does give me a kick to know that we have dared to go where not many tread. It's simple to trust your partner with love but difficult to trust them with money. We both have done that fantastically!

Hats off to my business partner for being one in a million and tolerating his wife's physical presence for 24 hours a day.

And hats off to me too, for letting him have his moment of glory and be the day time boss that he deserves to be!

Cheers to happier, successful and sometimes romantic times ahead!

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

How my 'Udta Punjab' is also 'Komal Punjab'

The movie 'Udta Punjab' has attracted eyeballs both in the theatre as well as outside. While I haven't seen the movie as yet but I have seen the terrible hullaballoo around it. From the Arnab Goswami News Hour debate about the movie leaking online to the heavy police cover outside Ludhiana movie halls to the constant raving of people about the acting of Alia, there has been much said and heard about the movie.

Each time I read a review of Udta Punjab, I also read the word Punjab at least 10 times. Its dark politics, the darker deep rooted societal problems and the darkest and much highlighted(in the movie) drug issue. Whilst I know the movie isn't a head on take on defaming Punjab or the culture of my homeland of 25 years but somewhere each time i read about the movie, it saddened me. What the movie was doing for my beloved land was highlighted a big socio-political issue that needs a resolve but it somewhere also maligns the reputation of Punjab.

When i visited my parents in Ludhiana, during my week long stay, I noticed some small things about the udta punjab that i know. Thus i decided to bring forth the smaller things that my state has which perhaps goes unnoticed mostly. Punjabi, the language most widely spoken in Punjab is often mistaken as a very harsh language. I've seen Punjabi speaking people being shun due to the hoarseness of their speech. But is that really so? Is my udta punjab just such a Rough Punjab?
AU CONTRAIRE!
It is one of the most softy state of the country. I don't say so just for support for Punjab but also for things that I noticed during my trip. Where in the country do you hear a 50 year old Rohit Bal Clad Lady talk to the street urchin asking for alms like this- "Tussi Kam Kar ke Paihe Kyu Nahi kama lende PuttarJI?" Notice the PUTTARJI or dear son for those who cannot decipher the lingo.

Punjab is also one of those states in the world where every shop keeper is addressed as Veere or Brother. From the college girl coyly buying sanitary napkins at the medicine shop saying 'Veerji, ek whisper' to the taxi driver who drove us back to Gurgaon telling the toll tax collector that he doesn't have change with - "Sorry Prawa, aaj change nahi hain. Tussi de do." Punjab is Polite, vinamar, courteous and Salikedar.

The domestic helps in my Ludhiana home continue to call me 'Behenji' for as long as I remember. It doesn't make me any more LS(low society) than I already feel when i visit the now modern city. The local vegetable seller who comes in our lane for decades is not an uncle or bhaiya or simply Choudhary( as is his name I learnt this time). But he is 'Chache' for everyone. He doesn't call his shop on wheels - Chache di hatti or anything but he is addressed as Chache because it is more loving than Uncle.

When the newly married igirls n their Jimmy chop shoes and Gucci Bags bargain for their phulkari, the shop keeper doesn't call them Madam. He says, "Parjayi, tussi bade dina baad aaye ho, chai pi ke gal karde ha." PARJAYI aka Bhabhi.

So humble request to all who're watching 'Udta Punjab' from someone who has seen all her growing years in the state to be non-judgemental about the state and only focus on the issue at hand. For Punjab is not 'UDTA' it is also 'KOMAL' 'Sabhya' and everything that polite and courteous means...



  

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Using SMALL change for a change

When I was leaving for my holiday I decided to look for any type of foreign currency stored in the umpteen number of purses/handbags/wallets Ive bought over the years. The only currency I found was of the smallest kind. The nickels and pennies of the world aka the rupees and fivers of India. And not a few, each bag was full of such change. And all of a sudden, I had an idea. An idea to utilise all that change and check for survival days. But my idea had to wait till I came back from the holiday. So once I got back, I decided to empty all my bags and gather all the change defined as -Any Indian currency in circulation under/equal to Rs 50. After I'd emptied 5 bags I realised there was so much that I needed another empty bag to store it. So i stopped searching for them and started my experiment. Starting 10th June, I decided to survive on small change and see till when I last. But since i couldn't empty all the bags at the time. I decided to start with my 5 bag load of change and put the firm foot forward of 'Survival on change'.

Day One- June 10th was the first day we came back from the holiday. I was armed with one full wallet of Rupee 1, Re 2, 5,10 coins and around 50 notes of Rs 10 and another similar amount of Rs 20 and some 10 notes of Rs 50. I didnt have the time to check how much money in all I had but it seemed a lot for the day. In the morning itself, my maid informed me that the kids toothpaste was missing so I got the opportunity to spend the first money out of my change. So i happily called for the toothpaste with some change. In the afternoon I paid off the Press wala with the change too. Some Rs 5 and the others 10. The challenge came when the washing machine repairman came. He asked for Rs 400. I looked up my pink bag of change and decided to spare him the horror. Out came the Rs 50 notes. Soon I was left with more coins and lesser note. Thats when I decided to give a heart attack to the fruit seller. I bought our weekly dose of mangoes, Anar and apples in coins. Since I knew the fruit guy so he only laughed when I did this. He said he will give all of it during Ramadan. So all for a holy cause. In the evening, I was still left with some change which I decided to carry forward.

Day 2- I looked for 4 more purses and got armed with another big fat pink wallet. This one had a huge wad of crisp Rs 50 notes. That's because I emptied two formal clutches which I'd have used during Diwali card parties. Wise sense prevailed when I kept this in the back pocket for a rainy day. The days expenses went on as usual. The pizza guy at the end of the Friday wasn't too happy to receive Rs 485 in change. He counted it twice. I didn't give him any coins of course. And yes, there was also the grocery staples like milk, bread etc being paid on each days in coins. Somehow, no one seemed to mind it too much. Maybe they all wanted the change. In fact, the Amul milk stall guy asked for more. I told him to wait another day.

Day 3- Is just about finishing up as I write this. And I did have the cherry on the cake today. I went shopping for the kids. Had to buy good night suits for them since we leave for Nani house soon. And I cannot have them wear old boring tees clubbed with tracks there. Nani was always particular about her kids wearing prim and proper night wear. She'd be heartbroken if i didnt keep up the tradition. So i went shopping, like I've just mentioned. And thanks to my smartness yesterday of saving the Rs 50 notes. I paid off Rs 2500 in Rs 50 and 20 notes. And again the teller didnt even blink an eye. He also counted twice but not a word. I almost thought maybe he gets such crazy people everyday. Then came the problem. The real problem. How to pay for the popcorn during the night movie we just watched? So I made the prime sacrifice. Ditch the popcorn for a night. Let the husband pay and the others feast. Then its technically not my direct expense. So call it some arm twisting but I did survive the 3rd day.

12 June will be the last day of the experiment and post that we shall take a break. Not because I will run out of change or because the expenses will be high enough to not survive the change. But because we are off to Mom's and that's one place we pay for in hugs and kisses.

So more on my experiment once I am back. I hope to survive at least 7 days on change. And if I get the time I will also try to budget out how much the total expenses were during these 'changed' days. It will give an insight to all of us on how much change we pile up.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Santorini with Kids? Are you kidding me?

Thats the response I got from most people when I started planning my much awaited Greece trip. The Greek isles have been on my travel bucket list for the past 5 years. Each year, we postponed it wondering what will the kids do on the party struck, beer doped beaches of Mykonos or the romance oozing Santorini? But not this time! Fate played a part when my globetrotter friend informed me of a great deal for air tickets. But booking the tickets was the easiest part, it was all the other things that were very difficult. For starters finding a hotel in Santorini which had a sunset view and allowed kids. it took me almost a month of research to find us apartments in all our spots. It almost came to an extent where I almost decided to skip Santorini and add a friendlier island like Crete or Corfu. But who dare escape the lure of Mykonos and Santorini? Even if that meant not partying the night away in the alluring beach paradise or not watching the sunset from the furthest point in Oia.

So here is how it was pulled off. Summing it in some easy steps-

1. Choose Apartments with pools and kitchen- Since kids feel bored all the time, water works wonder. Having a pool in your apartment always help. When choosing one in an expensive town like Santorini even a sunset facing jacuzzi will do. A kitchenette will be handy in handling those any time hunger pangs since apartments will not have room service.

2. Spot the nearest park- In the planning stage, don't look for must visit restaurants. Look for the nearest park in every destination. Having a park nearby gives them the time to burn those extra calories and some  'we are free' time.

3. Day Flights work for us- Now this is something which goes against the basic logic. I have always heard people prefer to fly at night with kids where they'd sleep the night away. You also won't waste money on the room night. I beg to differ on this. Day flights work better for me. The kids watch movies, play, chit chat, snack around etc during day flights and reach the destination ready to crash. You get time to settle in that way. The evening is free to settle and relax. Hitherto had done night flights, where the kids slept ON ME leaving me sleepless. I reach my holiday spot with active kids and cranky and sleepy self. So i did save money on the room night but i wasted my day's enjoyment.

4. Mathi Rocks- Whoever said mind your diet or watch that ghee in the mathi must be kidding. For my younger veggie child, mathi is the staple diet during holidays. So stack up those home made mathis and keep the trip going.

5. Play the poor burdened parent- Oh how i love this card at airports, train stations etc etc...Basically all queues abroad. Act like the burdened mommy who is hauling her kids around on the airport and you will be made to jump the longish queues. Basically you board at your ease, you get best seats on the trains/buses, you get discounts on entry tickets, you get freebies in the markets, sometimes you even get upgrdes- all thanks to the kids.

6. It's Greek to me but the natives love kids- While the rest of India thinks kids are nothing but trouble makers, the Greeks love kids. that's what all my prelim research on the country had suggested and hence proved too. No where did we not have our kids hounded by smiling, hand shaking Greeks...Calling them pretty princesses, have an ice cream on me, a rose for a rose and what not! The girls were pampered as if they were the real princesses in Disneyland.

7. Mykonos is for Beaches and Santorini is for swimming- We wiped the mindset of partying the nights before going. The option of having baby sitters was there in Mykonos but we kinda partied the days away. With water babies who love beaches, I didn't know my kids had the capacity to make sand castles for 6 hours at a stretch leaving us ample time to sometimes spend entire days on the same beach. Santorini might mean watching the sunset through the eyes of your lover and holding hands walking down the cobble stone path. We discovered santorini in a completely different light. We did walk hand in hand(with the kids) but most of the time was spent either in the jacuzzi or in the swimming pool splashing with them looking at the sunset at the same time. Not a bad deal at the end of the day I would say.

8. It's all in the mind- I read somewhere that fun depends on your perspective. For someone fun might mean drinking yourself crazy for another it might mean having an early dinner watching the sunset and for another it could be partying the night away. Fun is what suits you best and what makes you happy. So I decided to keep my options open and not go with any expectations or mindset. Let the days unroll and fun take its course.Just take it easy, the kids will resonate the same.

So after 8 days we got back to stories of 'wow, mom what a pretty sunset' and 'that aunty was dancing on the beach'. Lessons learnt- We weren't the only ones who adapted ourselves. We weren't the only ones who compromised on the partying and the romance, the kids compromised too. They climbed the tougher hiking route to Acropolis and followed it up with cycling. They walked along, checking on the Fitbit if we did our daily 10 kilometres target or no. they spent hours under the sun as we drank ourselves silly on the beach.

So isn't all that part of what a Family holiday means?



Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The Third Trimester is indeed the toughest

When we( M and I) started our businesses together, we knew the journey would be tough. It wasn't going to be an easy job or a pleasurable one to start with. Unlike an ordinary pregnancy where at least the conception is pleasurable ;) the startup pregnancy has been a challenge from the word go. I don't know how many admit to the same. Most would boast about being their own bosses and being very happy to be on their own timings but what no one shares with you is what I will share.

The first trimester is somewhat similar to an ordinary pregnancy is. You have conceived your thoughts, your research is done, the people are ready, the resources are there. You are sure of getting into this. You are excited, you are pumped up because the good news is that your start up baby is coming.

The second trimester is full of mixed feelings. At the face of the things, you are happy that your baby has grown a bit. You are happy that there are orders. You are happy that customers are coming in. You are happy that processes are being set. You are happy that you are busy. But at the back of the mind, there is a crossword of thoughts- 'Why the hell did I leave my cushioned job?' 'It would've been so much easier not to have this responsibility!' et al.

But it is the third trimester which is the toughest. Its been more than 6 months! The company size has grown. The expenses have inflated. The interest of the customers has grown exponentially. But .....But.....But....

There are butterflies in the stomach. There are tremendous mood swings. There are numerous highs and lows. There are that 'I am giving it up' moment at least once a day. There are those quiet moments when M and I simply stare at the company excel without talking to each other. Both of us having the same thoughts. Both of us not saying it out aloud. Both of us unsure of all of this...BUT....BUT...BUT...

Within 2 minutes of this, one of us snaps out of the daze and jumps up gleefully. Assuring the other that we have achieved 200% growth in the past 3 months. Telling the other that we are at break even levels. Maintaining the fact that we need that one last push and the baby will be out. :) And everything will be brighter like the sun and prettier than the red roses we sell multiple times a day(Thanks to India-gift.in)

Nuff said! What did we gain out of the 9 months of struggle-
1. Enough composure to feel responsible for our staff and their families.
2. Enough perseverance to value the hard work of others.
3. Enough insight to appreciate the best things in life.
4. Enough respect for my spouse/business partner/partner in crime
5. Enough gratitude for the smallest blessing of life.
6. Enough smiles & hugs from the two little girls who've turned one room of the office into a play pen.


It isn't easy to succeed, it takes months(read years) of sacrifice. Sacrifice of buying that extra bag, sacrifice of the free time with the husband, sacrifice of that foreign holiday, sacrifice of the umpteen materialistic things. But ....But....But...

All of this is definitely made up by the happiness of creating the baby that is supposed to arrive soon. The happiness of setting something up with our own hard work. The happiness of togetherness. The happiness of finding an alternate way of romance! The happiness of accomplishment!

For all those still thinking of taking the plunge, go START IT UP Now! The journey is tough but surely fruitful!